Learn How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

by: Stacey Chillemi

Building self esteem is a first step towards a happy, healthy and productive life. Yet having low self-esteem is perhaps the most common flaw of our humanity. Having self-, esteem will help build your confidence. If you have self-confidence, you will feel a self-worth and respect yourself as a person. If you respect yourself you can respect others, improve your life by improving your relationships with your love ones, friends and co-workers. You will be able to achieve your goals in life and obtain true happiness in your life.

Low self-esteem can cause people to develop depression, unhappiness, insecurity and a poor confidence level. When you have low self-esteem ever little mistake that occurs in your life is taken to heart. When people critisize you, when you make mistakes, a joke directed toward you and it will cause you to run away from every opportunity that comes your way and every challenge will seem impossible to accomplish. This will cause you to feel stagnant and lose meaning and direction in your life.

You can develop high self-esteem, just like learning to read or dance. Secondly, people do not understand the importance of having high self-esteem. I cannot even begin to stress the importance of having high self-esteem; it is the key to having mental, physical and spiritual strength.

The first stage of developing strength is learning to love yourself and your life. You need to learn to be grateful of what God has given you. You need to let go of all those angry emotions inside. Holding anger inside yourself will not help you, it will only hurt you. The past is the past; you can only change the present.

You need to love yourself by accepting all your faults and putting the past behind you, but if, you focus on your faults than you will only experience an unhappy life. You need to think positively and focus on your accomplishments.

To live with a happy state of mind, you need to have high self-esteem. You need to feel that you are no different from anyone else and that you can be the person you set in your mind to be. You need to reconstruct your life. You need to put yourself in a lifestyle that will make you happy and bring you as little stress as possible.

To begin the healing process you need to develop strength, wisdom, confidence and knowledge. If you can develop these qualities, you will achieve all your goals and dreams. First, you must focus on the goals and dreams you want to fulfill. I am going to teach you the true meanings of having strength, wisdom, confidence and knowledge. I will help shoe you how to obtain and use them. These four steps will help you live a happy life and gain high self-esteem.! Below are four steps to high self-esteem.

1. Strength- the development of strength in the inner body begins in the mind. The inner body is our mind, soul and spirit. How we think and program our minds to work, helps us build mental, physical and spiritual strength. Our strength comes from how we feel about ourselves. The higher our self-esteem, the stronger we feel and in turn, we can do more for ourselves.

Yet, if you have the strength and motivation, you can make the present anything you want. To free all your negative emotions that are holding you back, you have to say to yourself. I accept myself for who I am and that I am unable to change the past. Nevertheless, I can change my future because I love myself and refuse to hurt myself by drowning in my own self-pity. You cannot rely on others. You need to learn to rely on yourself.

You have to believe in yourself, develop a sense of pride in yourself. It does not matter what others think about you, what matters is how you think about yourself. God put us on this earth to love others, not to hurt ourselves and take our anger out on others, who are usually the people we care about the most and ourselves.

2. Knowledge - is the second part of the process of change, it is another important factor in helping yourself. Knowledge comes from experience from being open minded to suggestions others may give. We may not always agree with other people's suggestions, yet it is always wise to listen to what others have to say. Some individuals may try to be controlling and may get frustrated if we do not act on what they have to say. You should to set these people straight and tell them; I will listen to what you have to say; however, that does not necessarily mean I am going to agree with you. I have my own mind, too and I need to do what is best for me.

We learn from each other and we acquire knowledge from the world around us that we should pass along to others by helping them. We need to take our experience and use it in our present life now, including the mistakes we have made in life. The mistakes we have made are where we get most of our knowledge that helps us become stronger individuals. What weakens us when we repeatedly make the same mistakes?

Do not pity yourself for the mistakes you made in life or imperfections. Studies have shown that people who have negative attitudes are more like to live chaotic lives. They are more likely to become mentally or physically ill with extremely debilitating or life threatening illnesses. Many people have a hard time focusing on the positive because they allow their negative sides to consume them... I firmly believe that focusing on the negatives will causes seizures.

Say to yourself, OK, what I have learned from these mistakes or from my shortcomings. Taking what you have learned and using it to help others is the best therapy. When you help, you feel a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. You are overlooking any negative characteristics because you are too busy focusing on helping others'.

3. Confidence- our confidence comes from our self-esteem. To have high self-esteem we need to feel good about ourselves, to get to this point in life you need to begin by starting to do things in life to make yourself happy by focusing on the future, creating direction in your life. Begin by planning short and long-term goals for yourself and confidence level will rise.

It worked for me. When I started accomplishing some of my short-term goals, I had more self-respect. I developed a greater sense of pride and my inner strength and self-worth increased.

4. Wisdom- comes from your sixth sense. We all have five senses, our sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, yet I believe wisdom to be our sixth sense. Wisdom understands the inner signals and the directions that your body sends out to you, becoming aware of what your body is trying to tell you. Your sixth sense always leads you to the right answers. It is up to us to learn to understand our inner self (spirit) and to follow the signals it sends out to us.

Listening to what our inner self has to say is essential. For example, have you ever felt like you had a feeling something was the right thing to do. You need to learn to understand your mind, so you can understand your inner soul and all the wonderful things it is capable of doing. When we listen and act on the signals our body, it gives us a stronger understanding to our body as a whole. Spiritually you can give your body what it needs.

We feed our body food to survive on a daily basis. Spiritually we need to feed our body with love, understanding and different forms of relaxation, such as meditation. I strongly suggest to everyone that you start with at least five minutes each day with some type of relaxation exercise. Either in the morning when you start your day, the afternoon if you are able too or at night before bed to release the tension that has built up throughout the day. Each week you should add five minutes until you get to hour each day.

When you do these things, you increase your level of strength, wisdom, knowledge and confidence. By having a high level of strength you feel as though, you can conquer the world. This helps you decrease your stress level.

Once you accept yourself, you can cope with the world around you and accept the fact that you can do everything you expected to do in life. Nevertheless, to accept that yourself you first have to love who you are and be proud of the person you have become. There are many things in life you are capable of doing, but you must develop the motivation and the will to get out there and JUST DO THEM!

About The Author

Stacey Chillemi
E-mail: staceychil@aol.com
Website: http://www.authorsden.com/staceydchillemi

PROFILE

WRITER: Stacey Chillemi

I am thirty-two years old, married with three children. There is a whole world in front of us. This world has millions of opportunities just waiting for people such as myself to encounter. It does not matter what age you are. You can achieve anything you put your mind too.

MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

I am an H.O.P.E. Mentor, for the Epilepsy Foundation. I have spoken at different events for schools, organizations, political events, I spoke in front of Congress in Washington and anywhere my help is needed to educate people about epilepsy. I was on four talk shows. The interviews focused on the importance of understanding what epilepsy is, how to help someone having a seizure and giving people with epilepsy encouragement and hope for the future.

I have been on radio stations discussing epilepsy and I have appeared in many newspapers all over New Jersey such as, The Leader, Belleville Post and the Star Ledger. In addition, on June 26, 2002, I was honored an award by the Epilepsy Foundation of New Jersey for Outstanding Volunteer Award.

You can find my website with samples of my work.

Ten Steps to Self-Confidence

by: Stacey Chillemi

Self-confidence-like being rich – it is something we think everyone else is but us. Yet feeling insecure about ourselves is perhaps the most common problems of humanity. The majority of people in society think, “You have to be born with it.” This is not true. You can learn how to be confident, just like learning how to cook or drive a car.

Self-confidence all boils down to how we feel about ourselves. Our self-confidence develops and is affected from the moment we are born, to how we are raised and things we experience during our lifetime. Many of us tend to judge how well we our doing in life by what society thinks it is right or what the people who center our life think.

We all have standards and expectations that we all tend to try to live up too. If we do not meet up to our standards, which most of us do not, our self-confidence begins to slowly decline. Many of us try to have unrealistic standards that we try to live up too and we tend to lose sight of the fact that we cannot be perfect.

We need to accept ourselves, love ourselves and be happy with who we are as people. We were valued for just being people, for just being in this world. We often believe we must continually try to prove to other people that we are worthy of them or on the same level as them. We often spend too much time doing that and we lose sight of the fact that we are fine just the way we are and that the only person that needs to be happy with them is themselves even though we are not perfect people.

People think that once they lose their self-confidence that they cannot regain their confidence back or that it will be too hard for them to accomplish. This is not true. It may take time for you to become self-confidence in your self, but you can regain your confidence again once you overcome your insecurities it’s less likely that you will lose your self-confidence again. Through my, “10 step plan”.

In order to gain self-confidence you need to believe in yourself. If you believe in yourself then you can succeed in anything you put your mind to. You may not succeed the first time you try, but you have to keep trying until you do succeed. Quick success does not exist in our society.

Achievements only come to those who strive hard to get them. You get nowhere in life if you do not push yourself. You need to create a lifestyle that is right for you and nobody else. Do not settle for anyone else's lifestyle or for a lifestyle that is beneath your standards.

To make this happen, you must learn to accept who you are, be proud of the person you are. Only then will you feel your self esteem rise up to the skies’! Now onto the 10 steps to self-confidence.

1. Start with writing a journal.

Ask yourself what is making you feel like you cannot get to the point in life you want to reach. Write any thoughts that come to mine. Also, write down what self-confidence means to you.

2. Remember the past is over; you can only change the future.

Write down 10 positive things about yourself. Go through your journal and look at all the positive things about yourself. Concentrate on your strengths. These are the reasons you should love yourself and have high self-esteem and self-confidence in yourself. Give yourself credit for everything positive you have written about yourself. Remember, you are somebody special. 3. Accept yourself and learn to love yourself for whom you are a person. Everyone has his or her own unique qualities and characteristics. We are all born differently for a reason. Do not compare yourself to others.

4. Understand yourself mentally, physically and spiritually. Take some time to relax by yourself in a quiet room... Rest on your back with head and neck comfortably supported

Rest hands on upper abdomen, close your eyes and settle in a comfortable position. Breathe slowly, deeply and rhythmically. Inhalation should be slow, unforced and unhurried. Silently count to four, five or six, whatever feels right for you. When inhalation is complete, slowly inhale through the nose. Count this breathing out, as when breathing in. The exhalation should take as long as the inhalation. There should be no sense of strain. If initially, you feel you have breathed your fullest at a count of three, which is all right. Try gradually to slow down the rhythm until a slow count of five or six is possible, with a pause of two or three between in and out breathing.

5. be ready. Self-confidence comes a lot easier to the person who is sure their ready.

6. Strengthen your inner self. Write down in your journal what you will be able to do once you acquire the confidence you need.

7. Begin changing what you do not like about yourself. Confidence comes from within. You need to concentrate on the positive things about yourself.

8. Notice the change in our self-esteem and self-confidence. Reward yourself each time you do something that makes you feel proud...go out some place or take it easy for the day.

9. Learn how to give and take. Confidence is being able to find a balance between giving help to people and excepting when we need help.

10. Have a tremendous amount of pride in yourself. Remember, you are number one!

About The Author

Stacey Chillemi
E-mail: staceychil@aol.com
Website: http://www.authorsden.com/staceydchillemi

PROFILE

WRITER: Stacey Chillemi

I am thirty-two years old, married with three children. There is a whole world in front of us. This world has millions of opportunities just waiting for people such as myself to encounter. It does not matter what age you are. You can achieve anything you put your mind too.

MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

I am an H.O.P.E. Mentor, for the Epilepsy Foundation. I have spoken at different events for schools, organizations, political events, I spoke in front of Congress in Washington and anywhere my help is needed to educate people about epilepsy. I was on four talk shows. The interviews focused on the importance of understanding what epilepsy is, how to help someone having a seizure and giving people with epilepsy encouragement and hope for the future.

I have been on radio stations discussing epilepsy and I have appeared in many newspapers all over New Jersey such as, The Leader, Belleville Post and the Star Ledger. In addition, on June 26, 2002, I was honored an award by the Epilepsy Foundation of New Jersey for Outstanding Volunteer Award.

You can find my website with samples of my work.

21 Days to A Positive-Attitude Habit

by: Patricia Wagner

This may come as a surprise... but your attitude is more important than your aptitude in determining your success in life!

Just how critical is attitude to achievement? Well, take a look at one of the greatest inventors of the last two hundred years - Thomas Edison. Every time you turn on a light switch, you experience the result of his persistence in the face of continuous failure.

Edison tried 10,000 times to get his light bulb invention to work, but failed each time. However, he had this to say about his lack of success. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

You can learn to have this kind of outlook on life, but it needs to be purposefully installed into your daily living.

You probably know it takes about 21 days to break a habit by replacing it with a new one. If you are plagued with persistent negative thoughts toward life, you can replace this mindset with a new positive-attitude habit!

Here is a 21-day five-step program to change a negative attitude to a positive one.

1. Take charge of what you're thinking.

This is a moment-by-moment decision that doesn't happen overnight. It's a habit that will take some time to build. How can you do this? Choose to think uplifting thoughts instead of discouraging ones.

You get to decide what you think, which in turn determines how you feel. Become aware of this and dwell on positive ideas throughout the day.

At first you may have to force yourself to find something positive. Consider keeping a journal and write down at least one good thing in your life each day for three weeks. Then think about these blessings instead of discouraging thoughts.

2. Read inspirational material.

During this 21-day training period, fill your mind with good thoughts. The best book of all to read is that priceless diamond of world literature - the Bible. You'll never know what wonderful results from reading it are around the corner until you open its covers!

3. Focus on others.

For the next 21 days make an extra effort to help other people. Concentrating on assisting others will help you more than you realize. If you succeed in becoming wealthy but are poor in respect to your relationships, you will not be truly prosperous at all!

So make a special effort of focusing on others during your 21 days of building your new positive-attitude habit. This will free you up to allow the butterfly of happiness to land on your shoulder when you least expect it.

4. Take care of your health needs.

It's hard to maintain a positive mindset if you've neglected your physical needs. So during the 21 days of your attitude retraining make an extra effort to eat nutritious balanced meals.

Not getting enough sleep will also be a tremendous hindrance, so make sure you're getting adequate rest. And don't forget to get enough exercise. When you feel down, try to take a brisk 30-minute walk. You'll feel revived!

5. Learn contentment

For the next 21 days focus on what you have and not on what you don't have. Live in the present and enjoy your blessings.

Try to forget acquiring stuff for the purpose of keeping up with others. That only leads to more anxiety. Be thankful for what you do have instead.

When going through difficult experiences - remember that adversity can be a blessing in disguise. You might learn some important lessons during those tough times - like Thomas Edison did. (I know I have.)

These lessons can turn into credentials that will enable you to help others when they're going through tough times.

So don't let negativity ruin your present and future. Instead, build a new habit of having a positive attitude. It will take about 21 days to start seeing consistent changes in the way you think, but it will be worth it!

Now choose the starting date for your attitude-renewal adventure and go for it!

How about today?

(c) Copyright 2004 by Patricia Wagner

Publishing Guidelines: Feel free to use this article in your newsletter or on your website as long as the author's resource box, bylines and copyright are included. Please make sure links within article and bylines are live and clickable. To request an HTML version - just send an email to wagner.art@verizon.net. If you use this article, please send a brief message stating where it appeared. A courtesy copy would also be appreciated. THANKS.

About The Author

Patricia Wagner offers informative tips on living a more energetic lifestyle at http://www.a-to-z-wellness.com/ and through her free "A to Z Health Tips" newsletter. Subscribe at http://www.a-to-z-wellness.com/subscribe.htm. Contact Patricia at wagner.art@verizon.net

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10 Ideas to Jump Start Your Self-Confidence

by: Skye Thomas

To begin feeling that first spark of self-confidence within you, try as many of these as you like. It's important to enjoy yourself along the way. Have fun!

1. Correctly do 25 pushups, 50 sit-ups, or 1 cartwheel.

2. Learn all of the words to a fun new song on the radio and sing it aloud while driving down the road.

3. Open up your cookbook to a completely new recipe and learn to cook it well.

4. Learn how to say, "I love you" in two different languages other than your own.

5. Teach someone how to read, how to fish, or how to play a musical instrument.

6. Look inside a thesaurus to find new ways to say the same old things.

7. Find three funny jokes and learn to tell them really well.

8. Get a makeover, new hairstyle, or all new socks & underwear.

9. Learn how to say, "I'm sorry" and mean it.

10. Look into the eyes of strangers and hold their gaze long enough to see the insecurity in all of us.

More tips and ideas can be found in Beyond the Inner Critic by Skye Thomas.

About The Author

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to http://www.tomorrowsedge.net/.
Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

Life Can Seem Unfair......Until We Change Our Perspective! See How!

by: Richard Vegas

Empty, Hollow, Nothing….those words shout the sound of disappointment and disillusionment of life for many people; the experience of many people as they grab for possessions, power, knowledge, and the sweet things of life. But, what do they find? Yeah, you guessed it, emptiness, disappointment, and the awareness that Life sucks and then you die.

Well, As Luck Would Have It!

Have you ever heard the saying, "it's all in your perspective"? Perspective! Interesting word. It means relative importance of an object in the distance. Isn't that the way it is with everything we pursue? How bad do we want it? How important is it?

Depending on the importance of your goals, you might not want to leave them to luck. Believing "only" in the luck syndrome, is a quick way to develop that "life sucks and then you die" perspective. Find someone with a "life sucks" perspective and you will find someone who thinks that if they didn't have bad luck they would have no luck at all.

A Thimble Full Of Something!

Now, I know some things just fall in our laps! But, not always the powerful, dramatic ones, and if you do get one of those huge blessings in one fell swoop, don't forget to be thankful. Or, it might not happen anymore.

In fact, your perspective towards the small and insignificant accomplishments in your life could help to supercharge your ability to attain more of the bigger ones. And, isn't that where the rub is? Isn't that what we are really yearning for? Isn't that what causes our emotions to be up and down like a toilet seat at a mixed party?

We strive, we push, we burn the midnight oil, and we put all our emotions behind the big issues and let the small ones fall by the wayside. And, then it seems life comes on the scene and reminds us of some small gesture, maybe a free lunch someone treated us to, or, someone backed his car up and let you have the parking space at Wal-Mart.

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining!

We take those little freebies like that and go on to never give them another thought. You see, life has a tendency to want us to be grateful for everything, good and bad that happens, not just the dramatic ones. And, Life loves to remind us of the little ones. On the other side, I'm not saying you should be thankful "for" bad things that happen, but to be thankful "in" bad things that happen.

For example: You just got passed up for a promotion or raise; you mean I should be thankful for that? Not thankful for it happening, but be thankful in the predicament. You can't change it, you can't wish it was different, you've got the short end of the stick and that is that! It's a fact. So, here's a tip.

Lower your perspective to every goal, desire, or major ambition you seek, and this is important, "do it at the very beginning." Hear me now! This is not saying to be lazy in pursuing it like you do the ones you think of as coming from luck. When you are formulating this goal, promotion, raise, whatever, ask yourself, at the very beginning, how would I feel if I end up a few fries short of a happy meal in this deal?

Then check up on the inside of yourself. Do you feel that scratchy feeling down in your belly? Did you have that "life sucks and then I'll die" if I don't get this feeling? Uh oh!! It's too important. The goal is not what is too important! It's the perspective you have placed on it in your mind.

How Now Brown Cow!

Ask yourself this question: If I don't "get this", what are my options? If you don't like the alternative options, then lower your perspective on your primary option. I know this sounds like a paradox, but it's true; if you are not obsessed with having your primary option, then you will find the "primary" option easier to obtain.

Anything in your life that has the power to make you think life sucks and then we die is your master and you are its slave. It has got you by the ear and telling you; "that's ok sweetheart, you're just down on your luck and nobody appreciates you". Here's what I think of that!

You can help change your perspective by giving thought to the small insignificant items in your life and considering how you compartmentalize them or think about them. The real important ones will create that warm fuzzy feeling down on the inside. They are real obvious! The trivial ones will be like, ho-hum yawn!!

That Dog Won't Hunt!

If you want to know the facts about it, life would love for us to think of all our ambitions as ho-hum, yawn. This is not to mean a lackadaisical attitude that says; "well, since I can't run with the big dogs, I'll just stay on the porch" attitude. The attitude I'm talking about will lower your blood pressure.

Then by thinking of how your perspective is organized with the small items, you can compartmentalize the major issues in the same compartment. Don't' kid yourself; this is not hard to do. Just move things around in your brain, they will go where ever you push them. It may take some practice, but you can do it.

Visualizing helps. I like to visualize the items that have too much perspective and see myself pushing them out a back door in my brain with my hand. No funny remarks now; somebody said I always thought you were a little bit crazy, talking about a back door in your brain! :>) Listen, it helps. There is no passing or failing score for this, just whatever you find that works for you. Experiment!

The Power Behind The Throne!

The life sucks attitude can be prevented by recognizing, realizing, embracing, being grateful, and thankful for the small blessings that come our way. Look for them and be quick to be thankful; life will be much more willing to send the big blessings to the person it can trust with the small ones.

Richard Vegas ©

About The Author

Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional.
He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine "Wing-Tips" Teaching
The Success System That Never Fails, at: http://www.1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com/
You may also hear some of Richard's free music at: http://www.richardvegas.com/
webmaster@1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com

Your Mindset Determines Your Life

by: Sopan Greene, M.A.

To keep at the top of your game you have to keep a clear head. You can't afford to fill up on news and negativity. The world's overflowin' with it and the only way to be a winner is to be in control of your thoughts.

Your thoughts become words, your words become actions and your actions become your destiny. Someone else came up with that, but I've always remembered it because it's true. Our actions show who we truly are and how shallow or deep our character is.

Where you are today is a direct reflection of the words, thoughts and actions you took days, months and years ago. No matter how much some people blame their parents,teachers, where they grew up, television, the government or anything else, the truth is that nobody got them where they are today but themselves. The longer we choose to not take responsibility for our lives, the longer we'll living uninspired lives that we don't love.

I've heard 40 year old adults who complain about their lives and take no responsiblility for what they've created. Give me a break. If you think you're on the recieving end of life you're mistaken and too lazy to do anything about it.

Simply think about the pictures you've seen on TV of people in third world countries. When I start to get mad about having to stand behind two people in a line at the grocery store I remind myself that a lot of people don't even know where their food will come from tonight. This shifts me from anger to gratitude.

The next time you notice yourself getting frustrated or angry about something in your life I invite you to shift your focus onto what's great in your life. It doesn't matter if you think you don't have enough money or you're mad at your dog for chewing up a shoe. Remember how much love you get from having your dog in the first place and how your weekly earnings are more than some people make in a month or year.

Keep your focus on what is working - for you and for others. We are bombarded with negative input all day long. We need to watch what goes in because our livlihoods depend on what we creatively crank out. Our heads need to be full of positive inspiration or free space where we can dream.

A recent study revealed that the people who watch the most television news are the most fearful in our society. Crime has been going down in America for over a decade, but since the news focuses on it and repeats it over and over, a lot of people are receiving multiple messages that the world isn't safe. These people end up being less confident and less successful as a result of being emotinally paralyzed to a degree by their fears.

Remember the old phrase "garbage in, garbage out"? If you Were asked to be on television based on the person you are today would be on Jerry Springer or Oprah?

Yeah, I know. You're probably laughing or snickering right now. I can practically see that questioning look of disbelief on your face.

You may even think that you wouldn't be on either one. Just imagine that there's a guy at your door and he's going to put you in a limo right now and you have to pick one show or the other to be a guest on or you'll be locked in your house for a month. (It's silly, but you get the point, I want you to get into it).

There's a definite difference between Oprah guests and Jerry's guests. Oprah's guests radiate confidence and have taken responsibility for their lives and have created lemonade out of lemons. Jerry's guests radiate low self esteem and think they're victims of life. Even worse, they think they have a right to inflict their negative self-defeating attitude on others.

Oprah people know that they're on the creative end of life. Jerry people choose to think they're on the receiving end of life. And the truth is that if that's what they beleive then thats what they get. It's an easy cop out to settle in life and a lot of folks do it.

It's important to keep a positive mental attitude nomatter what your life is like because nothing is more important than your thoughts. They determine how you'll experience the next minute, hour, day, week, year, decade and century. Rid your life of people and circumstances that don't inspire and enliven you. Life's simply too short to put up distracting drama and complainers who never change anything.

We all throw around phrases about how life is too short, but we don't live that way. Take at least one action today to reaffirm that you're creating a life you love.

Fire a friend who drains your energy. Read from an autobiography of a person who inspires you. Turn off the TV and write your goals and values. Take a walk in nature or with a friend who supports the best in you. Write a note to someone who has impacted your life in a positive way to let them know you're grateful for having them in your life. Rub your dog's belly and watch a doggy smile of ecstasy come out to greet you.

You're building a powerful future. Study successful people and you'll notice they all surround themselves with other inspired and successful people. Your life is your show, choose to be an Oprah person and aviod the Jerry people who show up in your life. Or better yet, treat the Jerry people you meet like they are the Oprah person buried inside them so we can all shine together.

Let your positive mental attitude infect everyone you meet and we'll all enjoy better lives.

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About The Author

Sopan Greene, M.A. http://www.inspiredenoughtochange.com/

Sopan is an author, mentor and teacher who is skilled at working with people ready for change, raising their consciousness and upgrading their quality of life. His leading edge systems deliver results which many are joyfully choosing in today’s fearful, frustrating and stressful times.

How Do You Build Self-Confidence?

by: Skye Thomas

Years ago while running an at-home daycare, I came to realize that we're all born with an innate sense of self-confidence. Every single child under the age of five that I have ever observed has had a strong self-confidence in at least one area of their life. Most kids had confidence in all areas of their lives. It seems to me that they systematically lose that confidence and it's replaced by an inner critic. Quite often it's the child's home life, but sometimes it's the schools, neighborhood kids, extended family, or some other person who unknowingly destroys the child's belief in themselves. Children have to be told they aren't good enough, strong enough, smart enough, talented enough to accomplish whatever it is they're trying to do. Unfortunately, most of us are told exactly that. So, how do we rebuild that sense of self-confidence?

The first thing I want you to do is to imagine that you had an ideal loving emotionally supportive childhood. Think about what kind of person you would have been if you had been raised to believe in yourself and in your natural gifts and talents. What were those gifts and talents? What were you really good at? What kinds of activities came easy for you? Now write down a list of talents, traits, attributes, and gifts that you loved and probably excelled at before you were convinced that you weren't any good at them. Choose items from that list for the next step.

Self-confidence is broken a piece at a time. So you're going to rebuild it a piece at a time. Pick things from your list and plan out tiny baby steps. Were you meant to be a great artist? Then start out by doodling. Just start carrying a pencil and paper around with you and allow yourself to absentmindedly doodle little pictures. Eventually, allow the passion to find it's way through you and you will begin to draw bigger and better, adding paints or whatever medium you were always meant to use. Were you supposed to be a musician? Then start humming little tunes in your head, begin playing around with an instrument. If it's possible, carry an instrument around with you and whenever you're bored or have some downtime, just sit and absentmindedly allow your fingers to play with it until the music within you begins calling to you again. Whatever the thing, pick something from your list and begin to play with it without paying a lot of attention to being perfect or talented or anything else. Just hold the tools and space out awhile so that you can get out of your own self-consciousness and just play with the tools. Nobody has to know if you don't want them to.

Repeat this process as much as you can. Keep picking up pieces of yourself on that list and adding them back into your sense of self. Don't wait until you've become really good at the first new skill before picking up another one. Just play with each item on your list as the mood crosses you. There's no need to beat yourself up for not being super talented because in reality all you are doing is simply playing with toys that remind you of your childhood. Allow your inner child, inner teenager, inner artist, inner musician to simply play. Eventually, you will come to realize one day that you do have natural gifts and talents and that will go a long way towards building your self-confidence.

That's all good and well if your confidence problems center around skills, but what if your lack of self-confidence happens to be in the interpersonal relationships area? Are you painfully shy? Too afraid of rejection to even reach out to connect with others? Do you beat yourself up for not looking just so? Depending on the severity of your self-sabotaging belief system, you may want to get a professional therapist to help you with this. If it's not too bad, but you have less self esteem then you would like to have, then ask someone that you trust to help you with this part. Ask your friend to point out examples of other people who look or act like you. For example, if you think you're fat and everyone says you're not, then have your friend point out to you other people who are built like you. Have them compare your figure to someone famous. Chances are they won't say Orson Wells! Few people are really horribly fat. Eventually, it'll sink in that you are not really as fat as you think you are. If you're really worried that people will think you're stupid or dull when they first meet you, then have your friend rehearse with you so that you can feel comfortable making small talk with new people.

What if through practicing a new skill or through working on social skills and your personal image with a friend, you find out that you need to actually work on something? Maybe you do have a few pounds to lose. Maybe you need singing lessons. Okay, so be it. That's not a reason to quit moving forward with building upon your fragile new sense of confidence. Just go get the help, the lessons, the workout routine, the coaching or whatever else it is that you need to continue moving forward. There will always be teachers and coaches of some sort because there will always be people reaching beyond where they already are. The only problem with a low self-confidence is that we stop giving ourselves permission to learn new things. The fact that we don't know how to be or do everything perfectly is not a good reason to lose confidence in ourselves. As long as you can play at new things and can learn, then you are able to improve and grow. At some point, turn around and look at how far you have come. Pride will show itself.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to http://www.tomorrowsedge.net/.
Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

Positive thinking on negativity

by: Halina Goldstein

The other day I bought an unusual piece of software: It runs positive affirmations on my computer, so they can influence me while I work. Sentences like “I am full of confidence” or “I love everyone I meet”. The kind that is supposed to help me so that I stop being negative.

I liked the idea, but much to my surprise, it didn’t feel completely right.

I just couldn’t understand why. After all, I was doing the right thing…

I was, wasn’t I? I mean, I tried to ignore the not-so-positive thoughts I’m capable of, and I was reinforcing the good ones instead of. That’s good, isn’t it?

Maybe not.

Imagine we agree that, in order to prevent further killings in our world, we will remove every killer from the face of the earth. Kill the killer.

If we do that consequently we will have to kill the person who killed the killer as well.

In the end, there will be no one left here to enjoy the peace...

What happens if we negate our negativity?

For some reason it makes me think about the Middle East conflict. How did it all begin?

Being Jewish I can see it from the Jewish point of view. Having been refugee earlier in my life, I can see it from the Palestinian point of view as well.

But, I know very little about history or politics, so what I am going to say here is merely a picture, nothing more. This article is not about politics - it's about inner conflicts. That being said, here is my picture:

I suppose it all started with the mutual lack of accept between the Jews and those around them. A conflict that often led to suppression, isolation, violence.

Out of the conflict the idea emerged, that the only way to resolve it was to remove the problem.

The Nazis tried to remove the problem by removing the Jews altogether.

Some of the Jews decided to remove the problem by removing themselves from a hostile world and create their own home somewhere else. To ignore the negativity and to move to something more positive.

Naturally they (and the United Nations) agreed on their biblical home: Israel. But, there were people having their home there already - the Palestinians.

Now, all the Jews wanted was to live in peace, alone.

So did the Palestinians, I’m sure.

Apparently none of the parties wished to blend, to cherish and love each other, to share the home.

Over time, the old negativity reappeared, the mutual lack of tolerance and understanding accelerated, leading to the bloody situation we witness today.

Could it be, that trying to remove the problem doesn’t lead to peace?

If I have a problem or if I see one, my immediate reaction is to do something about it. I want to get rid of it. I don’t want it to bother me.

If I encounter negativity, within myself or within someone else, my spontaneous reaction is:

Stop being negative!

It’s only natural, isn’t it? We don’t want negativity. We want peace, happiness, joy of life, and love.

But do I create joy of life by trying to remove negativity?

In my experience, mostly it just leads to more negativity…

Telling the negative person not to be negative certainly doesn’t help.

Even only ignoring the negativity can make things worse.

Thinking “I love everyone I meet” doesn’t lead to love if it is being said to suppress the part that does not love everyone.

The only thing that does it is love itself.

I don’t think love removes or ignores anything at all!

Love just is.

Love doesn’t fight those who fight.

Love doesn’t turn its back on them either.

Love embraces the battlefield.

Love embraces everyone and everything.

Which brings me back to where we started:

Boy, would I love to say: “I love everyone I meet.”

Only it wouldn’t be completely true.

Cause pretty often I just can’t feel that love.

So…

So what if I say...

it’s OK...

My negativity is here to stay.

Like a little rock inside of me.

But then...

Love is here to stay too!

It’s like the air, all over, and within me too.

(If I let it in, that is. If I don’t stop breathing.)

If I don’t hide the rock, love will find it.

And love doesn’t want to remove it at all. It loves that rock!

(love just can’t help loving, you know).

The rock can feel that... Little by little, without knowing it, the rock will feel it so much...

... it will become love itself...

If you too have a rock inside you

(maybe it's not a rock, it's just something that you don’t like)...

Don’t hide it from yourself. Don’t ignore it. Feel it.

Feel it for as long as it takes.

Give it your love and attention.

Then listen to some loving music (like New Age Music) and take a walk.

Neither music nor nature will try to change you. They’ll embrace you. That’s just the way it is.

Let them love every single part of you.

But, you might say, I can’t possibly remember to be open all the time, and just to accept and love my negativity!

Well, you could work with an affirmation like:

"I love my negativity too"

But you don’t have to, darling!

Don’t worry! YOU ARE ALL RIGHT!

P.S. I still use that affirmation software! I just do it in a different way. I'll tell you about that some other time...

About The Author

Halina Goldstein has been engaged in music and personal growth for as long as she remembers. Her education and career has led her through accounting, computer programming, cleaning, childcare, music teaching, counselling, healing, music selling, to her present position as self-employed musician, writer and webmaster of several websites, http://www.key2yourheart.com/ being the main one.
art@1newagecd.com