Seven Steps To Change Your Life

by: Kimberly Fulcher

The quality of your life is directly related to your standards. A standard is a personal rule or expectation about the level of excellence you require in something, and when you raise your standards you change your life.

In my work as a professional coach, I've found that most people haven't taken time to define their standards. Invariably, they've inherited rules from others, leading them to live their lives using someone else's game plan! If you'd like to improve the quality of your life, consider increasing your standards.

Your Model of InteractionYour Model of Interaction dictates how you engage with people, and is related to who you believe you are. If you identify yourself an impatient person, you'll treat others with impatience. If you identify yourself as kind, you'll interact with others in a kind manner.

The law of reciprocity dictates that you will receive what you put out into the world. If you find yourself on the receiving end of uncooperative, negative behavior, it might be time to take a look in the mirror. If you already treat the people in your life with warmth and kindness, then you're ahead of the game. Take a moment to define standards for how you'll interact with others.

Your Ability to Keep Your WordYour personal integrity is related to your ability to do what you say you'll do. When you make a commitment, then you fail to follow through, you diminish your credibility and undermine your self confidence. When you follow through on your commitments, your credibility and self esteem increases.

The level of faith you have in your own ability to follow through on commitments will directly impact the quality of your life. You'll be much more prepared to take risks when you have a high level of belief in yourself, and your willingness to risk is integral to your ability to tap into your potential.

Before you commit to something, make sure it fits within the framework of your life. If it doesn't, don't commit. If you commit, follow through. Set yourself up to win, and believe in your ability to keep your word.

The White Space in Your LifeWhite space is an open playing field. It's uncommitted time. When you define standards to govern how you'll spend your time, the quality of your life increases exponentially. When you include a requirement to schedule uncommitted time, your stress level will decrease exponentially. This supports you in embracing your responsibilities, rather than resenting them. Spend a few moments defining a standard to create white space in your life.

Your Physical Health and VitalityDo you like the way that you look and feel? Realize that whatever you might be dissatisfied with is the result of the behavioral standard you've set for yourself.

If you want to change your appearance or energy level, it's imperative to define standards of behavior that support your aspirations. Set some standards that guide how you'll care for yourself! Your Financial Position Your financial reality is directly related to your financial standards. Wealthy people have a different set of behavioral standards than people who struggle financially. What financial realities do you find acceptable? Do you think it's okay to have credit card debt? Do you require yourself to save? Have you established spending norms, or a process to use when making buying decisions? Take a few moments to define your financial standards.

Your AttitudeYour attitude is your disposition or frame of mind. It's how you see the world. In order to create the reality of your dreams, you must believe your dreams are possible. How are you going to approach your life? Will you allow yourself to honestly assess your reality? Will you believe you can impact your life? Will you require yourself to make the improvements required to develop the life of your dreams? Set those standards now.

Your CommunityNothing will sabotage your efforts to live a quality life more conclusively than surrounding yourself with people who don't support your standards. The most difficult course you'll navigate as you make life improvements will be terminating relationships with people who aren't equipped to grow with you, and reassuring those who are.

Your relationships have the capacity to tear you down or lift you up. Surrounding yourself with people who share similar standards is an incredibly powerful way to create a lifestyle that pulls you toward your highest potential. Surrounding yourself with people who don't support your standards will almost surely degenerate the quality of your life.

Take a moment to consider the key people in your life. Do they conduct themselves in ways you respect? Do they support you and celebrate your successes? These are the people you should treasure and invest in.

If they don't, you may want to reconsider sharing your life with them.

What standard will you hold for the people in your life?

Your standards act as the framework for your life. Increase your standards, improve your life!

Interested in reading more, or in finding out about our programs and services? Join our FREE newsletter community at http://www.compasslifedesigns.com/.

This material is excerpted from "Life Fitness - Nine Steps to a Balanced

Life", written by Kimberly Fulcher. Copyright 2003. All rights reserved.

About The Author

Kimberly Fulcher is a professional coach, author and speaker, with twelve years of experience in human development. Her professional experience includes the co-founding and $ 38 million dollar sale of SkillsVillage.com, and her leadership of a leading Silicon Valley consulting firm, where she grew revenues from $3M to $25M in four short years. Kimberly sits on the board of directors for The Silicon Valley Coach Federation, and actively supports non-profit organizations that benefit underprivileged women and primary education initiatives. Kimberly offers group and individual coaching programs, speaks throughout The United States, and will publish her first book “Life Fitness – Nine Steps to a Balanced Life” in 2004.
kimberly_fulcher@compasslifedesigns.com

Five Great Ideas From Aristotle

by: Maya Talisman Frost

It was Socrates who said that the purpose of philosophy is to help each of us become “an excellent human”. That seems like a respectable and reasonable big-picture goal for every person on the planet.

But what about the specifics? How do we become excellent humans? How can we use philosophy in our everyday lives to help us succeed in this most important goal as homo sapiens?

The surprising thing about philosophy is that it is incredibly user-friendly if you take it in small doses. For thousands of years, thoughtful individuals have contemplated the meaning of life. Many of the greatest philosophers spoke eloquently about the challenges we all face today in words that are easily understood and truly inspiring.

Don’t believe it? Let’s start with a few thoughts from Aristotle. The student of Plato, who was the student of Socrates, Aristotle lived in the third century B.C. But don’t hold that against him! Aristotle was full of interesting ideas, and he had quite a sense of humor as well. He’s a guy you could imagine sitting in your kitchen, engaging in a memorable conversation over a shared bottle of wine. Think of him as a really wise friend, and use his ideas to help you TODAY to become a more excellent human.

Aristotle believed that everything had a purpose. He stated that our purpose as humans is to think in order to live a good life. That’s it. As long as we continue to contemplate the universe and our role in it, we are fulfilling our purpose.

So, to help you contemplate the universe today, here are five inspiring thoughts from our friend, Aristotle:

Thought #1:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

What is it that you repeatedly do? Greet people on the street, let another car into a busy street in front of you, leave nice tips for frazzled waitpersons, read to your children, phone your elderly aunt? What do your habits say about you? Is that the message you want to send?

How can you change your habits or adopt new ones to reflect your desire to become more excellent? What excellent acts can you do repeatedly so that they become a habit? What can you do TODAY to intentionally start a habit that will lead to excellence? Pick something simple and just get started.

Thought #2:

“Education is the best provision for old age.”What are you learning these days?

How are you spending your free time? Take a look at how you are including learning in your daily life. Do you read? If so, are you learning from it? Do you watch television? Yes, it can be educational, but seriously analyze your viewing habits and see if you can’t incorporate more learning and less vegetating.

Don’t pick something boring. Choose ways to learn that excite and inspire you. A cooking class through your local community college? A new sport? A stack of library books on a country you’re hoping to visit someday? Pursue your interests with a passion, and you will always continue learning. Promise yourself you’ll always have interesting things to talk about when you are old—and this doesn't mean ailments and treatments! Learn now how to ignite your own curiosity and pursue learning as a lifelong adventure.

Thought #3:

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

We all do it—-we hear an idea, and we immediately attach ourselves to an opinion about it without really giving it the time it takes to form a reasoned conclusion. The problem with smart people is that we tend to use our intelligence to argue in defense of our chosen opinions. We’d be a whole lot wiser if we did less arguing and more thinking!

The next time someone makes a suggestion you don’t like or states an opinion you disagree with, try this: Wait three minutes before denouncing it. Now, this doesn't that you should just sit there, fuming or smug or disinterested. Instead, “entertain” the thought. Ask questions. Show interest. Be open, engaged and nonconfrontational. When your three minutes are up, you can feel free to express your original opinion. More often than not, your original opinion will have changed a bit because you have spent some time holding a thought without attacking it.

The trick here is to separate the thought from the thinker. Are you sure you don’t dislike the thought because you dislike the thinker? We all have people in our lives who push our buttons. Take the high road. Entertain the thought. Your eventual rebuttal will be more easily accepted after you’ve shown that you have carefully considered the concept. Try this at work, try it with your friends, try it with your family. This is a surefire path to excellence.

Thought #4:

“What lies in our power to do, also lies in our power not to do.”

Ah, yes. Those bad habits? You can change them. If you had the initiative at some point to do something, you can choose to stop doing it. This goes for overeating, smoking, drinking too much, and all the usual bad habits.

It also hold true for things we don’t even think of as habits anymore—watching too much television, driving instead of walking, reading nothing but celebrity magazines, gossiping, spending too much time shopping, etc. If you haven’t always done it, you don’t have to continue doing it. You do have the power to make changes.

Thought #5:

“Well begun is half done.”

We all understand that setting a goal, doing the research, and making a plan will increase the likelihood that our chosen task will be successfully completed. Whether it’s a home improvement project, a vacation schedule, or a tricky new recipe, proper preparation will save us a lot of time and effort.

Start using Aristotle’s ideas today to help you become an excellent human. Make your best acts your best habits. Learn something new each day. Entertain contrary thoughts. Begin to undo bad habits. Prepare yourself for excellence.

Aristotle would be so proud.

About The Author

Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her course, Massage Your Mind!: Defining Your Life Philosophy, has inspired thinkers in over 70 countries around the world. She is the publisher of the Friday Mind Massage, a free weekly ezine serving up a satisfying blend of clarity, comfort and comic relief. To learn more, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com/ or http://www.mindmasseuse.com/.
maya@massageyourmind.com

Stopping Time

by: Keith Varnum

Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing to break the fall. I've got to switch channels. I don't like my chances on this station. Infused with youthful caprice, I mused to myself about my predicament. Enjoying the intense body rush of imminent danger, I was torn between prolonging the joy-terror and searching for an escape from my imminent demise.

I'd been in similar dire situations before and I'd always evaded the worst. How did I get out of danger before? Quick, you idiot, think! You don't have all day!

The impending disaster pumped my adrenaline-and my memory. I let go, I reminded myself. That's what I did in past situations. I just let go of having to control the whole thing. I released my need to be right about how life operates. I allowed the picture to change. That's when circumstances shifted and something unexpected, seemingly impossible, occurred. Let the channel switch, Keith! I coached myself into letting go into safety once again. Averting the most probable outcome, I robbed death of its prey yet another time.

Yes, rather unceremoniously, I was reminded of the natural malleability of the physical universe by a six-hundred-foot free fall straight down a sheer cliff. The threat of a perilous plunge into empty space re-impressed on my young mind the lessons I learned in similar predicaments: go with the slide on the ice rink, relax into the tackle in football and turn toward the skid in the car. Now I call it "the decision to surrender." Back then, I called it "just letting go."

I was fourteen. My girlfriend Cheryl and I decided to go for a hike down a precipitous gorge in upstate New York. We had most of the crisp spring day to play before reporting to work as dinnertime servers at a local restaurant. The trail was winding and steep. Three hours later, we arrived at the bottom of the granite and shale canyon.

After spending an afternoon swimming in the rippling stream, it dawned on us we didn't have enough time to hike back up the zigzagging trail to the top and get to work on time. We concluded we could still make it back to our job deadline if we climbed straight up the vertical cliff.

Ascending the steep cliff turned out to be quite easy. Protruding from the sheer granite wall were small rock ledges as easy to climb up as rungs on a ladder. Within thirty minutes we were twenty feet from the top. We would have been home free, except that the previous night's rain had soaked the soil near the crest, loosening the shale ledges. As we neared the top, each time we placed a foot or hand on the next rock outcropping, the shale broke away from the cliff. Very quickly, we found ourselves frantically moving our hands and feet from one shelf to another, searching for something solid to support us in order to clamber up the last few feet to safety.

With total panic on her face, Cheryl looked over at me-a silent plea for guidance screaming over the space between us. I didn't know what to do next. I had no answers. Like her, I'd also run out of ledges within reach to grasp. I felt myself beginning to slide down the cliff.

Suddenly, my whole life flashed in front of my eyes! It was like watching a movie being projected a few feet in front of me. During the first second of my descent into the abyss, I re-experienced every major positive event of my life in full, living color, including all the emotional and physical sensations of each incident. I re-lived every significant birthday party, picnic, vacation, romantic date, school honor, sports achievement and family celebration of my short life. This vivid, comprehensive review was very rich and satisfying. Considering my precarious situation, an incongruous aura of calm and fulfillment swept over me.

The flashback ended as abruptly as it began. Suddenly, I was acutely aware of being suspended in time and space between the life review and the next moment of present time-me in the midst of my slide down the cliff. During that seemingly eternal moment, the realization hit me like a ten-ton boulder: I don't want to die! A wave of acute appreciation flooded over me. I love life. I want to continue exploring what life has to offer. I remember whispering to myself, I want to live, as if one part of me were informing another part of me.

Then, swoosh! I plummeted into the vast emptiness beneath me. Some alert, unknown aspect of my being spontaneously yelled to Cheryl, "Lie flat! Relax! Let go!" Hearing the words that came unbidden from within me, I, too, obeyed, and consciously chose to surrender to the inevitable.

I don't remember anything after that decision, including what logically should have been a very abrupt and painful landing. All I know is, Cheryl and I were suddenly sitting in the stream at the bottom of the gorge where the current formed a small pool. Although the water in the pool had turned crimson with our blood, neither of us was experiencing any aches or discomfort. The bleeding came from small, razor-thin cuts all over the fronts of our bodies. But we had no broken bones, bruises or other injuries. It was as if the only purpose of the scratches was to remind us that, yes, indeed, we had just gone free falling down a six-hundred-foot cliff.

After a short period of wonderment, we practically danced up the long, circuitous trail to the top of the gorge. We were so thankful-and simply happy to be alive, in one piece and being given a second chance. The climb was effortless.

Crisis. Emergency. Danger.

These threats to my well-being were my early teachers. From these seeming enemies, I learned that when faced with an expected outcome I don't like, I have an option. I can open to an alternative scenario, another framework, a different set of rules. I jokingly call my ploy "switching channels." It's an apt metaphor. I simply let go of my old way of viewing the world and allow a fresh perspective to emerge-or not! After all, when we truly let go, anything can happen! More often than not, however, I find myself shifted to a new reality-a different station with a new story line that has a much better ending! This is the stuff of miracles and alchemy.

(c) 2004, Keith Varnum. All rights in all media reserved.

About The Author

Drawing from the wisdom of native cultures and ancient spiritual traditions, Keith Varnum shares his practical approach to healing and transformation as an author, life strategy coach, acupuncturist, filmmaker, radio host, vision quest guide and international seminar leader with his empowering "Dream Workshops" and free, fun "Prosperity Ezine" at http://www.thedream.com/.

Absence Makes The Fear Go Yonder!

by: Richard Vegas

Emotions are controlled by a combination of reason and action. Man is the only member of the animal kingdom that can control the emotions he experiences on a day to day basis. But, in the negative antagonistic environment we live in, you will need a good healthy dose of something to turn your water into wine.

Have you ever heard the saying, "A rolling stone gathers no moss?" Very true not only for a rock, but for you and I also. Let me explain. The longer we dwell on something the more emotions, involving that situation, are digging their roots down deep inside of us.

The deeper those roots go the more strangle hold they have on our thinking and ultimately, our actions. Have you ever experienced this? You are going through a painful situation, your brain is like a speeding bullet, fear has surrounded you, and you're up to your neck in alligators?

Now what do you do? You begin to analyze every possible way to deliver yourself, and, with every idea that comes, you shoot it down. Sound familiar?

A Penny For Your Thoughts!

I know; that's just about all you think your solutions are worth. But, maybe you're just trying to change the wrong flat tire. Now stay with me. You see, the "problem" you are trying to solve, may be the hardest pathway to your solution. Much of the time, a problem will disappear faster if we take ourselves away from the problem.

Why, because we left it alone? Oh no. It's because in the heat of the battle, at the moment of decision, your reasoning is not going to make good decisions. And, granted, the problem needs solving. But, remember, the longer you dwell on the problem, the more the problem stays in front of your mind. Someone said, "I can't take my mind off the problem; it has to be dealt with." Says Who? Or Whom, if you prefer.

How do you know, when you're all wound up inside, and just one step away from falling in the bottomless pit, how to deal with it anyway? You ever heard this? "Love comes around when you're busy doing things you like?" Well guess what? Solutions are a lot like that too.

I'm Flying This Coop!

As long as you are going to spend enormous amounts of energy to solve the problem, you're going to find the problem hanging on you like a stink on a skunk. Get out of there. Go do something you like. Make yourself absent and the fear will go yonder.

You won't know why or even care. All you'll know is; you feel more in control, you feel more confident, you'll feel like your elevator is no longer stuck between floors, and you'll be mentally ready to give the problem the boot.

The problem will still be there when you get back. I know you didn't want to hear that, but it will. Why do we do this? Because, most likely, you are not going to be able to see the problem until you make sure you're not part of the problem and making it worse.

Sometimes we have to make ourselves absent from a situation in order to see the situation. The best answers always come when the mind is calm and relaxed.

Your solution is as close as your breath. It might not come as immediately as you want it, and it might be harder than Chinese algebra to solve it, but, the sooner you make yourself absent emotionally and, sometimes physically helps, the sooner you'll begin to notice the hoot and holler is about to come.

Get Back Jack!

Try this simple technique sometime. Next time the devil is trying to tap dance on your forehead, put down everything you are doing and walk away for fifteen minutes. Find anything you can that causes a warm and fuzzy feeling for you. There is something you are very fond of; something that really calms you down and makes you feel good.

I don't care how bad the problem looks. You CAN take your mind off of it for fifteen minutes and you know what that thing is you love. It could be a person, a painting, a stump, nah….I 'm kidding, I don't care what it is as long as it makes you feel good.

Now You're Cooking With Gas!

Now, fix a picture of it in your mind. Relive every moment in your memory banks of every incident that comes into your minds eye. CAUTION…only do this with wonderful things from your past that you have very fond feelings about; things that give you exciting feelings of empowerment and energy.

It goes without saying this would be very counter productive to do otherwise. And, if you will do this with all the concentration you can muster, you will have made yourself absent from the problem, you will have sent the fear and anxiety into oblivion and nature promises you, you will come back fifteen minutes later with a better perspective on how to solve the problem.

And, even if you don't come back with an immediate solution, you will have a calmer mind, a sharper focus, a big smile, and everyone around you will want to know if you're a little bit pregnant. Nah. I'm kidding. :>)

The Day The Stuff Hit The Fan!

In conclusion I have a secret to tell you. Tonight, as I'm writing this article is Feb 17, my birthday. And, I have just had one of the biggest challenges today that I have had in a long time. I mean BIG challenge. And, on my birthday even. And if that's not enough to make you wanna spit. You know, one of those days like; if today was a fish, I'd throw it back in the river kinda days. :>)

Well, I love to write and sing. So, I took my own advice. I took myself physically away from the area where the challenges were and started writing this article. And because this is something I love within fifteen minutes my mind was no longer fixated on the problem, my emotions had calmed down, my focus was on writing, doing the thing I love, and all my confidence has returned that a solution will be found. I don't see it yet, but that's not important. It's there, I will find it. You can too.

Richard Vegas ©

About The Author

Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional. He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine "Wing-Tips" The Success System That Never Fails at: http://1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com/Articles/articles.html. You may also hear and follow Richard's music career at: http://richardvegas.com/
webmaster@1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com

From Failure To Victory; The Cat's Out Of The Bag!

by: Richard Vegas

Did you ever think that all of the great heroes we read about may not have been particularly great men in and of themselves? They may not have been born with any great skills, talents or abilities. But, each of them did have one special quality that we would all do well to cultivate.

A Tough Nut To Crack!

Because of my passion for recording and singing I've had the opportunity to meet some really famous people. And, one thing I have discovered about these people is that they have a "never say quit philosophy." They have a bull dog tenacity that would make a snapping turtle jealous.

A side thought just in case you have never heard; the saying goes that a snapping turtle, if it bites you, won't let go till it thunders. I don't know if it is true or not and couldn't care less because I don't let snapping turtles bite me. So, back to my point.

Live And Learn!

The stories I have been told by these famous people is sometimes shocking and very inspiring. I won't mention any names but one in particular comes to mind. See if you can relate to this tragedy to triumph.

His passion was for music, as mine is, and during the early years of his struggle, to reach the top, he lived in an apartment with no bathroom. After a short while he got kicked out, which he says was not a big loss; then he lived in a convertible automobile with a leaky top.

He literally and he truthfully swears he lived off of cat food in a can for a year. It took him almost twenty years to have his first number one hit. And, that means twenty years of playing the honky tonks for peanuts with no success any where in sight.

Never Look Back!

His story really made me think; how much do we really want success? How much blood are we willing to give? What kind of a price are you willing to pay for that elusive dream that captivates and mesmerizes you?

For my friend that I've mentioned, there was no price too great, no sacrifice too large, no limits he placed on himself, except for breaking the law, he never crossed that line, but he was willing to pull out all stops to have what he dreamed.

His Goose Is Cooked!

His father even tried to bribe him with money to forget the crazy notion of pursuing music. He decided to stay in his leaky roof convertible and, he said by that time, he had started to like cat food. Yuk! His father said; dumb decision boy!

His father asked him; ok, how long are you going to pursue this? He told his father he had placed a limit on the timeframe and said that it was one hundred years. If he didn't succeed after one hundred years he would quit. His father said; dumb decision boy!

Pinch Me To See If I'm Dreaming!

I tell you this story not to insinuate that this is the kind of life a person must endure in order to have great success. But, to share with you that here was an ordinary person with no extra special gifts, just a never quitting attitude, that caused him to be living his dream today.

If there is any quality that separates the successful person from the failure, it is persistence; Not talent, not ability, not education. And over and over I have been told by some big name people how hard the struggles were to reach the top.

Persistence is like the object in motion. It takes more energy to stop it than for it to continue its course. Starting the object is where most of the energy is used. And, it's the same in pursuing success.

You Can Bet Your Bottom Dollar!

Everyone wants to be a success in life, but unless you make a commitment to never say quit, you will have a lot of opportunities to fail. The comforting thing is; life will never quit on us, it will keep presenting us with opportunities to succeed, many of which will look like you'll be up to your neck in alligators.

You may have a problem now that you've tried and tried to overcome. You many have even said, "I've fought this thing so long." What's the use, I'll never win. I have just one word of encouragement for you: Just remember; "Cat Food!"

When I first decided that I was not meant to work for someone else, a friend gave me a poem that I want to reprint here. The author of this poem is unknown, and I'm sure some of you will have seen it and I'm sure a lot of you haven't. It was an inspiration to me when I first read it and I've kept a plaque of it for many years. The title is; "Don't Quit".

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, as every one of us sometimes learns, And many a fellow turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seem slow, You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than, it seems to a faint and faltering man, Often the struggler has given up When he might have captured the victor's cup, And, he learned too late when the night came down, How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out, The silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And, you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems afar, so stick to the fight when you're the hardest hit, It's when things seems worst that you must not quit. (Author Unknown)

Worth Its Weight In Gold!

If you won't quit, your faith in yourself and the goodness of God will see you through. Remember, with you and God, you can turn failure into victory.

Richard Vegas ©

About The Author

Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional. He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine "Wing-Tips" Teaching The Success System That Never Fails, at: http://www.1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com/. You may also hear some of Richard's free music at: http://www.richardvegas.com/.
webmaster@1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com

Surviving Life After Divorce

by: Sharon Jacobsen

After divorce, the most important thing you can do is to move forward sensibly. Here are ten steps to help you on your way back to a fulfilling life.

1. Think single. As obvious as it may seem, you're no longer one half of a couple and that can take some getting used to. After all, life as a single woman is very different to the life you've been leading for a major part of your life. Take time to understand the changes that are happening in your life and don't expect it to be easy.

2. Remind yourself that it's ok to be single. In a society where single women are often looked down at by their married peers, they can easily find themselves believing that they're failures; that "real" women are involved in loving, lasting relationships. That simply isn't true. More and more women are choosing to remain single, or to break out of unfulfilling relationships, something which shows strength rather than weakness. Surviving means believing in yourself and your capabilities as a single woman.

3. Don't try to get even. No matter how angry you are at your partner, even if he's been unfaithful to you, don't try to get your own back. You'll just end up exhausting your personal energy on something that isn't going to be the least bit fruitful. It certainly won't get him back but the bitterness will most likely stop you from moving on. You don't deserve that, so don't do it! Try to approach your anger in a sensible manner, one that will constructive in helping you back to a healthy, emotional state of mind. Writing down exactly what is making you angry and why can often help you to understand and deal with your feelings. Find a friend who'll listen and tell her how you feel. Anger needs an outlet, but revenge isn't a healthy way of venting it.

4. Accept that the relationship is over. When you're living alone and your partner has moved on, it should be easy to accept that it's over. Unfortunately, this is something that a lot of women have problems with. You may find yourself making excuses to visit him by forgetting things at his place or needing to discuss something trivial regarding the children. Don't crowd him. Talk to him when you need to, visit if you must, but be polite, keep your distance emotionally, and accept that you now lead separate lives. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will be able to find happiness again.

5. Don't live in the past. No doubt you've got some great memories from your time together, you would never have stayed together as long as you did if there were never any good times. Remember them by all means, but don't dwell on them. If you find yourself wishing that everything could be "like that" again, give yourself a mental slap and remind yourself that there are some fantastic moments waiting for you in the future and that the past is nothing but a memory. You can learn from it but you can't change it or return to it. It's over. Gone. The future is what you should be thinking about now!

6. Don't drown yourself in guilt. You've probably said a few things that you didn't mean and now regret but you can't change that now. By all means apologise to your ex if it'll make you feel better, but don't expect your apology to change anything. Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes.

7. Re-discover yourself! How much of yourself did you give up during your relationship? Did you find yourself bending over backwards to satisfy your partner? Now is the time to start living for you! Doing the things that make YOU happy will increase your self-confidence. Get a new hair-cut, re-arrange the furniture, enrol on a course. Do anything you like, but do it for YOU.

8. Sort out your finances. Your financial situation is bound to have changed and it's important that you know exactly how much you have coming in. It's easy to start over-spending while you're wallowing in your self-pity. A little extra indulgence here and another there; it's easy to fall into the trap so don't be tempted. Getting yourself into debt will just make your life as a single woman unnecessarily difficult. If your income is low (or non-existent) contact Social Services Benefits Advice Service or your local Citizens Advice Bureau. They will have somebody available to assess your needs and help you claim any benefits that you may be eligible for.

9. Don't become lonely. You may have found that your "couple friends" no longer invite you over or that your married friends don't have the time to do the things you suggest. Don't panic. This is perfectly normal and as time passes you will gradually find new friends. Whatever you do, be positive when you are with others as positive people always attract more friends. When you meet new people, they don't want to listen to "doom and gloom". They don't know you yet and will probably find it difficult to be sympathetic to a complete stranger. Be cheery and make them smile, people will remember and like you for that.

10. Don't get involved on the rebound! We've all heard it, but when you meet "that" guy, it's so easy to forget. Keep your dates light and remember that there is a broad line between getting to know a person and bonding a close, intimate relationship. Don't try to jump that line, it's there to be crossed slowly. When you try to cross it too quickly you'll be forcing the relationship and forced relationships rarely last. Yes, I know there are some whirlwind romances that have survived the test of time, but those are the exception, rather than the rule.

I've been married, single and a live-in partner. All sorts of relationships have their good and bad sides. When you're single you might yearn for the stability of marriage; when you're married you may envy the freedom of your single friends. Whatever happens, whether you choose to remain single or forge a new relationship, don't keep comparing your life with that of your friends. You're unique - your life is exceptional! Enjoy it!

About The Author

Sharon grew up in East London but moved to Norway at the age of 19, returning to England in 1998. She now lives in Cheshire with her partner and two of her three children. Besides writing, she is currently studying Social Science with The Open University, runs a web site where women in the UK can meet other women for platonic friendship (http://www.friendsyourway.co.uk/), potters in her garden, knits and reads everything she comes over.
s.jacobsen@friendsyourway.co.uk

Taking Personal Stock

by: Skye Thomas

What's the difference between self-criticism and self-awareness? There's so much talk in the world about loving ourselves just the way we are. The idea is that we are each perfect and beautiful. It goes even further to say that in reference to our personal journeys, we are exactly where we are meant to be and there's no need to berate ourselves for not being more spiritual, more educated, more affluent, more of anything. My concern is that so many people take that to mean they can then sit

and do nothing about fixing any of their self-limiting ways. People act as though acknowledging a flaw or even using the very word 'flaw' is the same as self-hatred and is too critical. Yes, those who have been on the path of self-enlightenment for a long time have discovered the difference, but I'm not so sure that the everyday Joe on the street understands the message completely.

Nobody lives a perfect blissful life from birth to the grave. Problems arise and we usually play a role in creating those problems for ourselves. Perhaps the problem is that we just aren't where we want to be in life. If we are ever to fix anything or solve any problems, we must first pull our head out of the sand and acknowledge the situation for what it is. Take full stock of ourselves, our beliefs, our gifts, our talents, our challenges, our flaws, everything. By really looking at ours e lves, we can then decide what we do and do not like about ourselves. From a place of self-awareness, we can determine what is helping us to accomplish our goals and what is limiting us. That's being self-aware.

Self-criticism looks very similar. We are taking inventory of ourselves and assigning positive and negative labels to those traits we find within. The difference comes in the form of the attitude we use while doing so. If we are judging the various attributes, especially from a harsh light, then we are being critical rather than simply being aware. When we are being self-critical, we are not loving, logical, nor detached from the various elements of ourselves that we are analyzing. We are

being very judgmental and unnecessarily harsh.

Either way, we come to the same conclusion that changes need to take place, but the emotional fuel behind them is very different. One says, "I choose to change because it will help me to manifest the life I desire for myself. I am perfect whether I change or not, but I choose this change because I would like to eliminate this self-defeating behavior." The other says, "I must change because I'm a loser and no good. I must change because if I don't, I'll never be a winner. I can't love myself until I am a winner and am therefore not worthy of anyone else's love either." Both of these views can be very powerful motivators, but the journey of life is difficult and challenging enough without our having added unnecessary negativity to it.

Many of us were raised to be self-critical and have to learn how to love ourselves. The goal is to be able to be both self-aware and self-loving. While trying to get to that point, there's bound to be a transition period. During that time, while taking inventory of ourselves we need to make a conscious effort to remain detached and logical. Pretend that you are Spock from Star Trek. Do not attach any emotion whatsoever to the various lists of positive and negative traits. They simply exist. They are what they are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no need to judge them good or evil. Make an effort to logically analyze what is serving you and what is not. Then make an informed decision as to what kinds of changes you think might be of benefit to your future hopes and dreams. Eventually, the detachment can be shifted towards having a loving emotion towards ourselves during the process. But for starters, a detached evaluation will still serve the purpose of getting you moving along towards a better future without the pain and heartache caused by being critical and mean to yourself just for being human.

The only thing worse than ripping yourself apart with cruel self-thoughts, is to pretend that nothing is wrong and to continue moving through your life repeating the same bad experiences over and over while never learning from them. Self-growth, self-help, self-empowerment, self-esteem, self-love all root from the ability to be self-aware without judgment. As long as we hide from ourselves and don't face our flaws head on, then we are making a choice to live an unfulfilling, unenlightened life. Don't take the teachings about loving yourself just the way you are to mean that you can't improve upon your chances at happiness by making some internal adjustments. When you love something, you nurture it, protect it, help it to grow and thrive. The same should be true with self-love.

In being honest with ourselves regarding who and what we are, we can then begin making real choices that have a real impact on our future happiness. We can decide to make tiny adjustments or great big life changing alterations to ourselves. Avoiding taking a good long look at yourself will not make the core of who you are and how you approach life get any better. The act of avoiding self-reflection in and of itself implies that you really don't see yourself as beautiful and exactly where you need to be in life. Being self-critical will never lead you to see that you really are beautiful and exactly where you need to be. Being self-aware will help you see that it's true, you really are a beautiful soul just the way you are and exactly where you are, but will also allow you to take control over where you will be heading next and who you will be when you get there.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to http://www.tomorrowsedge.net/.
http://www.articlecity.com/Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

Flash!! I Thought I Saw A Puddy Cat!

by: Richard Vegas

Have you ever had one of those flashes of inspiration? Have you ever just had one of those "knowings" down in the pit of your stomach? No, I don't mean after a big bowl of beans. That's not what I'm talking about. Ever had something flash across your mind and looked like a puddy cat? Read on and discover what it was.

Flashes of inspiration; how sweet they are. And, they can take different forms. Every one of you, at some time or another, has slapped his/her knee and said, "I see it". "I see it". That was your subconscious talking to you. That's where your Spirit lives. And he knows what the answer is even when you don't.

The reason so many people get so few "flashes of inspiration" is they never spend the time to get to know their best friend. Case in point. In the early part of the last century, there was a scientist who, during his lifetime, developed many inventions.

Flying Cats, What's the world coming to?

He said he got his ideas from flashes of puddy cats. Well, that was his way of explaining them. He would go into a dark room with a table and one chair and turn the lights off and sit, and sit, and sit.

He said he didn't care how long it took; he would wait till he saw flashes of puddy cats. He was waiting on fresh ideas and answers to what ever he was disturbed over. He knew the answer was in his Spirit, he just had to get it out.

I Think That Dude Needs a Rubber Room!

While he was in the room, he applied what he called controlled attention, asking his subconscious to give him the answer to his specific problem. The way he described it, on some occasions the puddy cats didn't come too quickly. On some occasions they were fuzzy, no pun intended. Sometime they would fly like machine gun bullets.

As soon as the ideas began to make sense, he would turn the lights on and write them down. He explained the source of them this way. He said they came from knowledge stored in his subconscious but acquired through personal experience; knowledge of others and, knowledge from the infinite intelligence.

He said when he was sitting, he would tune into one or all three of these sources. He emphasized that he "made" the time to do this because it was so beneficial. He said most people would scoff at this because it would appear to be such a waste of time. Most people would rather struggle and fight because they believe that's the way that great achievements come.

Not to mention they would not want others to think they were a fruit cake.

The author of this article has some personal experience with this concept. Being a student of the subconscious and particularly interested in the powers of the unknown and unexplainable, I began to notice some startling results begin to take place after employing these ideas.

No Fruit Cake For Me!

I want it on record here and now, "I have never seen any puddy cats"!! Not real ones anyway. Maybe some baby elephants, Nah…. I'm kidding. Although I have to admit, I've looked for them. Hehe! Now just what you think if I told you puddy cats went flying through my closet? Yeah, right.

In your quest for answers you may fail. Remember, Success is never final, and failure is never fatal, only staying down is failure. What you are doing here is, "learning to see." Learning to see so that your quest will help you discover something more, something even greater. What is that? The ability to discover answers any time you need them.

Think about this. How would you feel if you knew with any problem that came up in your life, you could find a series of answers? All of them will not be right. Most of them will be garbage. A few of them may be useable. Some of them will look like puddy cats. Yea…. and that's the one we're looking for.

Looks like the 3 Stooges to me!

Be observant, think, look, pay attention, controlled attention, for that's when, who knows, you might see a puddy cat. Here is something I have personally discovered in this process. Pay attention. Many times, not every time, I did not get what I felt was a specific answer to the specific situation at hand.

But, what I got was a direction that appeared to have nothing to do with the problem at hand, but in the end, it was something much more valuable and much greater than I could have ever done through kicking and screaming it into existence.

Learn a lesson from Chris!

Consider this. Christopher Columbus set out to find a way to Asia by traveling west from Spain. That was his goal; that was his definite plan. Well, you know the story. He failed big time. Or, did he? You wouldn't be here if he had succeeded. I believe the infinite wisdom that communicates to our subconscious knew where he should end up. Thank goodness it did.

In many respects, these flashes of imagination could be explained as just an individual brainstorming; i.e.; allowing your imagination to flash ideas from the subconscious to the conscious mind and incorporating the answers to a specific problem. When done, these flashes are examined for value and practicality.

A Good Place to Think!

If you follow my articles you will understand what I'm about to say. I've had people ask me, "Where do you get some of the crazy titles you come up with for your articles"? I tell em "puddy cats". That's where they come from. Although I admit, I'm not always in a closet looking for them. Sometime they come just from watching Gomer Pyle. But, you have to be able to recognize them, when they come, even if you're in your sitting room on your throne.

Every person has the creative ability to do this. It is God given. But, most people just haven't learned to use it. So don't sell yourself short and say "I don't have a puddy cat brain". Yes you do, Sylvester. It is very unlikely that any great mind would have achieved greatness without learning to use the creative abilities of their mind. Discover your puddy cats; they're in there.

Richard Vegas ©2002

About The Author

Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional. He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine "Wing-Tips" The Success System That Never Fails, at: http://www.1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com/. You may also hear and follow Richard's music career at: http://www.richardvegas.com/
webmaster@1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com

Looking At Time With A Capital T

by: Maya Talisman Frost

I keep a fossil on my desk at all times. Whenever I feel rushed or find myself creating a sense of urgency, I pick up the fossil and caress its polished surface. It's over 200 million years old. Suddenly, returning that phone call or meeting that self-imposed deadline doesn't seem nearly as critical. My ancient arthropod reminds me that, in the scheme of things, this moment is indescribably insignificant. I find that remarkably comforting.

True story: I brought the fossil with me as a sort of visual aid for a presentation I was giving on sustainability at Intel. As I opened the car door in the Intel parking lot, the fossil slipped out of my bag. It crashed to the pavement, the asphalt shattering the tip of my favorite piece of history. I'm trying hard to avoid seeing any deep meaning in that disturbing little incident.

Anyway, I've been stroking that poor broken fossil a lot this week. I'm not freaking out about anything. I've just been spending some time thinking about time.

Is life a function of time, or is time a function of life?

This is worth spending a considerable amount of time (or life?) contemplating. For those of you in a hurry, I've got this short sound bite answer: It depends on what kind of scope you're using.

My brother has worked for a nearby scope manufacturer for over twenty years, so my answer is colored by my familiarity with lenses and the way they magnify reality. You might come up with a response based on, say, your connection to compost. Or combustion engines. Or maybe blood cells. Me? I'm going with scopes.

I would say that time is a function of life whenever we are simply going through the motions of the day or looking at our accomplishments or failures over the course of our lives. We can divide periods of living into convenient packages--that wondrous year in Miss Green's first grade class, the bust-your-butt blur of college, the years in the old house on Birch Street, and on and on. You've got your own compartments.

We use time. It allows us to keep things organized, both in our day planners and in our minds. It's a helpful ordering mechanism.

It's hard to get a grip on the enormity of time when we view it in terms of appointments, lunch hours, and television time-slots. If we pull waaayyy back and look at it, then life becomes a function of time instead of the other way around.

We don't tend to pay attention to any of that while getting ready for work in the morning. We don’t think much about Time with a capital T. That's because we're looking through the lens of the microscope. Well, haul out the telescope. Take a look at gigantic periods of Time. Consider unfathomable chunks of eternity.

We've been in the Cenozoic era for about 65 million years now. It started way back with the extinction of the last non-avian dinosaurs. The most recent Cenozoic period, the Quarternary, started a mere 1.8 million years ago, and has seen the development of humans from the very earliest use of tools and rudimentary language to the present flip-phone/camera/email devices that are all the rage today. That's quite a progression.

I'm thinking we've sort of maxed out the Cenozoic era. It has served us well in many ways, but frankly, it's getting a bit tired. Seeing as how humans were the ones to name the eras in the first place (that part is definitely time as a function of life), it's perfectly reasonable that humans should declare when the next one is starting. It's fairly arbitrary anyway. There's certainly some wiggle room--at least a couple hundred thousand years.

Can we start the new one now? Please?

Here's an idea--why not put a little thought into the next era? Instead of documenting the progress--or decline--of species, why not plug in a little intention and see where that takes us?

I wish I'd thought of that first, but I didn't. Thomas Berry and Brian Swimme coined the term "Ecozoic era" in The Universe Story, and then Berry went on to talk about what that might look like in his book, The Great Work. Berry describes the Ecozoic era as one holding the promise of humans living in a mutually enhancing relationship with all life forms.

This sounds pretty groovy, but it's not viewed as a Utopian concept. It's a viable proposition.

The first steps have been taken to build the foundation for a realistic movement toward this new era. The Center for Ecozoic Studies is at the forefront, but a number of scholars of all stripes are coming together to do some planning. There's not a gloom-and-doomer in the bunch. In fact, they are catapulted by hope and possibility. They take this work very seriously but embrace it joyously.

We should, too. We humans have come a long way from pounding rocks in a cave. We're perfectly capable of looking forward and envisioning an unprecedented era capitalizing on cooperation and awareness as guiding principles. We do it in the movies all the time. Why can’t we do it for real?

I'd like to propose that we consider utilizing the concept that life is a function of time. Let's think about what it means to plan an era. Our cave ancestors couldn't imagine the world today. We have the advantage of the knowledge of history and a growing understanding of the forces that propel a planet through its evolutionary journey.

Like it or not, we've got a certain responsibility to use these fabulous frontal lobes. You don't have to be a scientist to think about the future of the Earth. You're human. Think about it because you CAN.

Look for fossil moments in your day to consider the universe, and grasp the opportunity to render yourself temporarily insignificant.

Just watch out for asphalt.

About The Author

Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her course, Massage Your Mind!: Defining Your Life Philosophy, has inspired thinkers in over 70 countries around the world. She publishes the Friday Mind Massage, a free weekly ezine serving up a satisfying blend of clarity, comfort and comic relief. For more information, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com/ or http://www.mindmasseuse.com/.
maya@massageyourmind.com

Boosting Your Success with Six Easy Happiness Tips

by: Christina Winsey-Rudd

In what areas of your life would you like to achieve greater success? State-of-mind (attitude towards life and work) absolutely affects your performance and your outcomes. People who stay in jobs they hate, or relationships and situations in which they are chronically unhappy are not only missing out on the joy life has to offer, but are literally putting their health at risk at the same time.

When coaching clients I ask them to do a rough pre-assessment: on a scale of one to ten, ten being that you are consistently happy with your day-to-day life 90-95% of the time, where do you rank? If the answer is five or six, here are some tips and techniques to boost it up.

Live by your definition of happiness and success? Many people feel an ongoing sense of dissatisfaction with their lives or businesses because they are using someone else’s “happiness measuring stick”. Comparing your life and achievements to those of others, and using their criteria rather than yours is a sure fire way to lose the happiness game.

Take “happiness breaks” using a “fun and joy list”. Many people don’t realize how much more productive they can be by feeding their souls and hearts throughout the workday. Lunch hour not withstanding, 10-15 minute “happiness breaks” are real attitude and brain-boosters. A checklist prevents you from saying “I wouldn’t even know what to do with myself if I took a break from work.”

Become a Pollyanna! Pollyanna, contrary to popular opinion, wasn’t teaching denial, or pie in the sky positive thinking. Rather she perfected a mind-set of learned optimism and of seeing the glass “half full”. Pollyanna’s “Glad Game” turned around an entire town from being gloomy and pessimistic to being a happy, joyful place.

Not only will your sunny outlook help you be happier more of the time, but also your “vibes” will positively affect those around you. If you’re single, keeping a sunny disposition will make your “vibe” much more attractive. People like to be around upbeat people who make them feel good).

If you’re in sales, or are looking to climb a success ladder, you will be much more attractive to your ideal employer or ideal customer if your attitude is obviously an optimistic and happy one.

Have Better Relationships by Living From Both Head and Heart. Being too rigid, and intellectual can really wreck the relationship “happiness quotient”. The people in your life, just like you, want to hear expressed appreciation and to be given more understanding.

Sadly, it seems much easier in our society, for people to express disappointment, criticism and negative observations than it does the positive ones. Speak words of encouragement and appreciation freely.

Ask for acknowledgement when you need it too. People can’t (HEAR THIS – THEY ABSOLUTELY CAN’T) read your mind. When you give and take freely of appreciation, understanding, praise, joy and fun in relationships they are bound to flourish.

On the business side of things, you will be seen as a premier team player when you contribute to your business relationships in this way.

Stay in the here and now. When coaching clients, one of the most frequent things I hear is “When I achieve this goal I will finally be happy.” Life isn’t happening “then”. Life is happening right NOW!

Make a habit of slowing things down. Savor those good people, experiences and feelings in the very moment you are experiencing them. While you are experiencing them and noticing them, inwardly say a thought of gratitude that you have this person, job, experience, feeling, or talent.

Whatever it is that you are enjoying, it will stay with you longer throughout the day if you don’t let it fly by without acknowledgement. At the end of the day, as you review it, if you’ve really practiced this “here and now happiness”, the overall feeling about your day will be a good one.

When negatives come along the fact that you have spent time practicing this “here and now happiness” will make it a great deal easier to wade through it without overreacting.

Quiet your negative self-talk. Many people are completely unaware of the numerous negative things they may say to themselves throughout the day. The fact is that, like criticism of others, negative self-talk never ever helped anyone perform better.

Become your own detective. Carry a little notebook around with you and whenever you are aware of some negative thoughts running through your mind write them down. Then consciously and deliberately refute the negative thought with some positive observations.

What if you were to stop those thoughts as if you were a policeman with a whistle and immediately bring on the flow of positive self-compliments? Pick any and all good characteristics about both your looks and about you as a person begin to acknowledge yourself for them emphatically.

Here again, when you love and appreciate yourself for what’s good, your “vibes” will be good ones and people will like being around you. In fact, they will begin to think and feel about you, the way you do. When you value yourself the world will too!

These are just a few ways you can enhance the quality of your happiness experience and your life. Get creative and begin thinking of your own solutions! They will pay big dividends.

"Go for the moon. If you don't get it, you'll still be heading for a star."

-- Franklin D. Roosevelt

About The Author

Dr. Christina Winsey-Rudd is a coach, speaker and writer. She developed her unique, new coaching technique: Neuro-Integrative Action & Energy Technique, through years of working with patients and clients as a holistic chiropractor, and medical massage therapist. Her passion is to help others to live joy, fulfillment and prosperity in all areas of their lives!

Dr. Chris is accepting only select clients who are serious about living their dreams! http://www.dynamicgoldmindstrategies.com/

Email: info@dynamicgoldmindstrategies.com

Possibilities

by: Jim Jenkins

Coach’s Corner
By: Jim Jenkins
Originally published in the Frederick Chamber Newsletter, July 2003

Being Open to Possibilities

When you look at your future in terms of your business and/or professional career, do you see unlimited potential or do you see a lack of opportunities? Recently, many of my clients have asked me how I remain so upbeat and optimistic about the future. They cite the predictions that claim there won’t be enough jobs, or that companies don’t have the money to invest in their employees as good reasons to be cynical and pessimistic.

My answer has been, “if you’re open to the possibilities, the opportunities will be there. It’s all a matter of attitude and energy.” I emphatically agree with Les Brown, when he said “Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.”

According to Rosamund Stone Zander, author of The Art of Possibility, many of the circumstances seeming to block us only appear to do so because of the assumptions we make. This means, that if you view the world through the half-empty glass, your behavior and responses to life will color how the world responds to you.

Many people believe that the economy will remain unstable and that we will have to work even harder to survive. When you look at the world from this model of scarcity and participate in such a negative dialogue, you are setting yourself up to prove your own predictions – you are closing yourself off to the possibilities!

If you feel that you’re destined for failure in today’s volatile market, don’t be surprised when you do -- look at the energy you’ve extended to make it happen! Believe that there aren’t enough customers, ideas or market share out there and your actions will prove you right!

But what happens if you remain open to the possibilities? When you view the world from a perspective of unlimited potential your attitude will shift; so will the way you engage your employees, customers, friends and family – everyone you know. Instead of operating from the scarcity mode, try operating in the C-A-N mode! C-A-N stands for “Create Abundance Now!”

In her book, Zander writes: “on the whole, you are more likely to extend your business and have a fulfilled life if you have the attitude that there are always new customers out there waiting to be enrolled rather than that money, customers and ideas are in short supply. You are more likely to be successful, overall, if you participate joyfully with projects and goals and do not think that life depends on achieving the mark because you will be better able to connect to people all around you.”

When we give up that scarcity model, we’re more inclined to release the need to control everything, allowing us to take risks. Even though risks may not always pay off the way we imagined, you are not beaten! There’s always the next possibility, and the next. One of them could land you that golden opportunity! You just have to remain open rather than closed.

Being open means that you have to stand confident in the realm of possibilities -- no matter the competition and no matter your fear. If your entire focus is on what your competitors are doing, your attitude will be passed on to your employees, and, ultimately, your clients. But if you focus on what you do best and how to better satisfy your clients and engage with them in new and powerful ways, your results will be quite different!

Yes, there will always be naysayers (the folks whom I lovingly call Friends of Eeyore or “FOE”s) who pride themselves in their supposed realism; and if you’d like to remain in their camp, that’s fine. But imagine if Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had given in to this type of thinking and never gave his infamous “I have a dream” speech. Or if he had decided to give up and said “well, maybe equality isn’t really all that it’s cracked up to be.” Persistence of vision and an open perception of the world kept Dr. King’s work alive, long after he was assassinated.

Now, think of how your business can benefit from that same persistence of vision and open perception. Instead of focusing on cutting expenses to make payroll, try concentrating on what you can do to increase sales. Instead of getting frazzled about the big proposal that was met with a cold shoulder, try focusing on reaching that customer who really needs your services and needs them NOW!

I challenge you to stand confidently in the realm of possibility and see what happens when you remain open. No matter how fierce you think the competition is, no matter what your friends, colleagues and family say; no matter when everyone else is telling you there’s no way you can meet your short term goals; I encourage you to stay open to possibilities and see what happens next!

EXERCISE

During the next thirty days, take 10 to 15 minutes at some point in your day to reflect on the following questions. You might want to get yourself a journal to record your responses and see how they evolve over time. :

1. In what ways were you open/ closed to possibilities today?
2. What triggered your being open/ closed?
3. What were the outcomes of your being open/ closed?
4. When you remained open, what impact did that have on your behavior? The behavior of your employees? Your family? Your friends?

At the end of each week, write in your journal about what you notice happening to you as you continue to remain open! And when you begin to take up roots in the place of possibilities, let me know how that what blooms for you!!

About The Author

With over twenty years of corporate experience and success in leading a variety of change management and coaching efforts, Jim Jenkins, president and founder of Creative Visions Consulting, has followed his vision to support individuals and businesses in living up to their full potential. Jim's mission is to help his clients develop a better sense of self so that they can get in touch with who they really want to be. Whether it's working with organizational teams or individuals, Jim's goal is to have his clients refocus themselves and experience new ways of seeing, thinking and doing so that they can achieve life-changing results.
jimj@cvc-inc.com

Fear

by: Connie Butler
How would your life shift if you moved into what you feared not away from it, if you moved into the future with controlled abandon –think about it! One of the things I know from working with people for close to two decades and from my own development is that – things change. And yet how many people say they hate change. If change is inevitable in growth and you hate change you have a bad equation for a good life.
One of the main reasons that people hate change is that they are afraid of it. Change implies that you have to move into unknown territory. Consider these two questions.

• Where does fear rule your life?
• What would you do, who would you be, where would you go if your fear were merely a stepping-stone to more power?

If you are honest with yourself you could list numerous areas of life that you sidestep due to unchallenged fear. Think of the conversations you don’t have, the people you don’t let yourself meet, the business or life decisions you make designed to avoid fear. The thing that most people are afraid of is the unknown – not knowing the outcome of an action, a relationship, or a decision. Most people gravitate to what they already know and then complain about how boring life is or how nothing ever really changes. Many choose the same course of action repeatedly even though it has proven not to bring the results they crave. Fear is one of the major dynamics that underlies these decisions.
Psychologically it means that people reinforce an old identity formed by their past, even if that identity is painful. They were taught that they couldn’t have what they want so they continue to live in accordance with that old belief, that old self-identity. Spiritually it means that people don’t explore and open to more of who they really are as beings. Economically it means that people don’t take calculated and informed risks. Fear stifles exploration on many fronts.
But the truth about life is that it does change – moment-to-moment nature’s creativity is working. The planet is changing, life is evolving. And I believe that there is an underlying dynamic in life that works to optimize each of us – if we allow ourselves to move out of our known sphere and experiment with our precious lives. We are designed for growth and Nature works with us in this movement. As the poet Rilke says, “What fights with us is so great.” To directly face our fears and challenge ourselves opens a well of creativity that can truly serve the development of our lives and our businesses.
The events of these last few years have underscored, for many, the fact that what we had previously counted on - the peace and security that we have come to expect - may not be as rock solid as assumed. Where in your life are you living in fear or terror? For some its:

• The fear of building a new life after a major illness or loss.
• Risking the next level of growth in their business – risking real
• success.
• Balking on the brink of a creative move out of their comfort zone.
• Remaining alone and isolated.
• Freezing in financial uncertainty.

Change brings us into unknown territory. The unknown is the underlying dynamic in all of these situations above. But what I have come to find is that Life is richer when we learn to walk into the unknown. When we learn to do this we build our personal power: the power to make change, the power to bring more of ourselves out into the world and into our work. This is the power that is needed in the future – the power to move safely into the unknown. In order to solve the challenges in our lives and on the planet we all need to learn to open to the unknown. For instance fuel cell technology looks like a potential answer to the power struggle over fossil fuels. It will change the way we live. We have to be flexible to that change.
Sometimes the resolution to our personal and professional growth calls on us to really change our perspective, our lifestyle. It starts with honesty about what you want and what you need to change; it leads through the beliefs and ideas that keep the old in place, past the fear – into unknown territory.
This unknown can be rich, exhilarating and creative. If you want to move forward in your life:

• Begin by choosing to challenge yourself in an area of your life in which you would like to see change.
• Notice what stops you from moving forward, anything that derails your commitment.
• Find the support needed to navigate the new territory: a trusted friend to talk to, resources to help you, a coach who can see the bigger picture and help you stay the course.

I love working in this space of the unknown with clients. Here I work with people to develop the tools and the intuitive skill they need to navigate through the unknown not away from it, to frontier their futures, to creatively recognize the solutions they don’t see on their own. This is what is required to empower them so they can turn their fear into power. This is an evolutionary skill that your future success and welfare demand and it is learnable. I scout into the unknown with you and don’t abandon you there but work with you to develop all that is needed for you to safely navigate it yourself.¨
"Feel the truth of what you are and at the same moment act. Risk yourself for what you know is right and true."
Good coaching is a fusion of this inner opening to the truth and the decision to act!
Copyright 2004 ConnieButler.biz All rights reserved.
About The Author
Connie Butler is a personal and professional coach working with individuals and groups to clarify their greatest vision and cultivate its successful realization – moving them past their growth frontier into new territory. She is available for personal or professional coaching, seminars and can be reached at 305-534-1119 or connie@conniebutler.biz. Ms. Butler is a published author and appears on Entertainment News and Views On-The-Air on Waxy Radio 790AM between 5-7pm every second Friday. Sessions by phone or in person 305-534-1119. http://conniebutler.biz/programs.php

Waiting On Your Big Break Is Playing Desperation Life!

by: Richard Vegas

Have you ever put all your eggs in one basket? Have you ever had so much riding on one big break that if it didn't happen you would have to move down to the zoo and live off of kudzu and stump water? If you have, you're playing desperation life!

Desperation Life= Trouble Before You Start!

If you're playing desperation life, then you didn't do something right early on. Being forced to go for the big break could almost be a good definition of failure. You're hoping for a last ditch effort to pull your dream out of the muck.

Sometimes a last ditch effort is all you need; most of the time, you're playing Russian roulette. If the big break is your conscious plan then your strategy is sucking wind already.

The steady as she goes planning will increase your odds of success tremendously. You'll find that your planning and strategy will fit the game plan very nicely as there will not be nearly as much pressure on you.

Success Begets Success!

Planning for the success of a project is much better handled when you are planning your strategy in bits and pieces. Small steps along the way will make huge strides. It's like the question, "how do you eat an elephant?" One bite at a time.

Far too often, we try to take giant steps toward the goal line to speed up the process. And, then in the process, we end up farther behind because the faster we go the behinder we get.

Big breaks can just not be planned or forced. They just happen. Big breaks come to everyone at some time or another. If you think you've never had a big break, that's not true. You might have not recognized it, but they do come around to everyone at times, sometimes very camouflaged but, there nonetheless.

Throwing Caution To The Winds!

The guy waiting on the big break will bet the whole farm on his idea. He is so sure that it will succeed that the sky is the limit as to what he will sacrifice to have it. As stated, these ideas work sometimes, but it's the exception rather than the rule.

The pursuit of the big break is not wrong in and of itself. It's just the approach to the big break that causes them to fail so often. We put just one strategy, plan, technique, or method into play and that's all we got. If that one method doesn't work, we're up the dirty creek without a paddle.

By the same token, if we put together a bits and pieces plan to approach this situation, then we're really not depending on the big break. We're using the techniques that will increase our odds of success.

Too Tired To Sleep!

The big break then often shows up and right out of the blue presents us with a nice trophy. But the most frustrating part is when we try to force it, gamble for it, or spend every waking hour in a gut wrenching frame of mind hoping for success from it.

For example: We have all heard of the TV star that got his big break. He was just walking down the street and some producer saw him and made him a star.

Then there is the person who decides to go to acting school and learn the art of acting and makes his way by small steps to stardom. Maybe this guy will never make it. But, what are the probabilities of the first guy?

The second guy is making plans in a calculated manner and does not look for his help coming by just happening to be in the right place at the right time.

An Uphill Battle!

You should understand that depending on the big break is as unreliable as it is infrequent. And, it can also do harm to your motivation. Living by the desperation of a big break can become enough of a habit that you fail to make calculated plans for success.

You will develop the jack-rabbit start in everything you do and run out of gas long before you get to the finish line.

It can cause you to completely overlook a viable opportunity when it comes your way. If the opportunity looks like a big break and it smells like a big break, then make calculated risks and turn it into a planned strategy.

When You End Up With Lemons, Make Lemonade!

It doesn't necessarily have to be avoided. It just needs to be approached with a different attitude than someone would approach the big break. I.e. The big break mentality.

If you consider the big break as an accidental occurrence, then life does not become a series of desperation attempts. Surprisingly, big breaks can be helped by natural occurrences that happen accidentally.

But, the worse thing you can do is to always be looking for one magic pill that will create a big bang and bring instant success. Living for the big break will be a sure recipe for disaster.

Brink Of Disaster!

Big breaks will come around in a natural response to the project you're trying to complete. Take advantage of them as they come naturally; just don't set up yourself for depending on them in a nick of time.

You might find out your "nick" is on the brink of disaster.

How do you know if you are waiting on the big break? Ask yourself, have you analyzed the upside and downside? If you have and can see what the risks to reward are, then you are not waiting on the big break.

You Won't Suffer From Stress, You'll Be A Carrier!

If you find yourself wringing your hands, hoping against hope, in fear of disaster, you're playing with fire. And, the proverbial fat lady is just about ready to sing for you.

Richard Vegas ©

About The Author

Richard Vegas is a popular recording artist and internet marketing professional. He invites you to subscribe to his FREE weekly ezine "Wing-Tips" Teaching The Success System That Never Fails, at: http://www.1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com/. You may also hear some of Richard's free music at: http://www.richardvegas.com/.
webmaster@1-work-at-home-based-business-opportunities.com

Life Is Not Always Fair

by: Jeff Earlywine

I once heard the story of a grown bear that lived in a cage and traveled with a circus ever since he was a small cub. The bear spent everyday of his life pacing back and forth in his cage while countless spectators looked on. When the bear’s keepers were not looking some of the spectators would poke the bear with sharp sticks or would throw pieces of food filled with broken glass into the cage. When the great bear would eat what he thought was a wonderful treat, the broken glass would cut the inside of his throat and stomach.

One day a wealthy animal-lover visited the circus and saw the harmful acts committed against the bear. Because he felt great compassion for animals he approached the circus about purchasing the bear. He explained that he would take the bear and place him in a large open area. In this area the bear would have cool pools of water to play in and lush grassy fields to run. The circus agreed to sell the bear to the man and set up a delivery date.

When the day arrived for the bear to be delivered everyone was anxious to see what would happen when the door of the cage was opened for the first time. To everyone’s amazement, when the cage was opened, the bear did what he spent every day of his life doing. He simply paced back and forth the length of the cage. The bear didn’t even seem to care that the cage door was open. Finally, the bear’s keepers got the bear outside the cage and rolled it away. What they saw next shocked everyone.

The bear looked around at his new beautiful home. He looked at the cool pools of water and the lush green pastures. Then to everyone’s surprise and disappointment, the bear began his pacing. Back and forth he would go – as in an imaginary cage. Eventually he had to be put to sleep because he could not function in his beautiful new home.

I hope and pray that you are not living a life like the bear described above. I heard a quote recently that went something like this, “Don’t let your past dictate who you are, but do let it influence who you become.” It is a well-known fact: Life is not always fair. Therefore, I am of the opinion that when life turns up the heat what you F.O.C.U.S. on helps you make it through the day a winner. My good friend, Robert Mallon, explains it this way, “The longer we look at God the smaller our obstacles become. The longer we look at the obstacles the smaller God becomes. The question is whether we want a BIG God or a big enemy. It is just a matter of perspective.”

When life becomes unfair what do you focus on? The principles below are basic, but will powerfully help you when you are struggling to keep a positive outlook.

F - Fun. Set yourself a goal to have fun every day. Make it intentional. Put it on your calendar. Do whatever it takes – just have fun.

O – Organized. When life becomes unfair we can begin to let things pile up. Things like emails and phone calls to reply to, deadlines at work, laundry, yard work, etc. In other words, a cluttered life will bring about a cluttered mind. Or is that the other way around? Either way, as much as possible, keep your day-to-day activities as organized as possible.

C - Care for others. One of the best ways to forget how much you are hurting is to focus on how you can help others. Getting your eyes off yourself, and on to how you can help others, will boost your positive outlook on life.

U – You. When you are going through tough times it is very important to keep a good diet, workout routine, and sleep habits. This will help keep your mind clear and your energy up. Remember, God loves you and He does not make junk.

S – Successes. Not only should you plan to have fun everyday, but also you should plan to succeed. You might have to tell yourself to be on the lookout for successes in your day, but when you have one, (even a little one) celebrate. A recent rollerblading trip was an example of this in my life. My goal was to “blade” around this paved course (up and down, left and right) without falling. I looked like an elephant on skates, but when I made it to the finish line I was ecstatic! I accomplished my goal and lived to tell about it.

Life is not always fair. Deaths, sickness, career changes, and struggles are going to occur. Just remember to keep your focus and to hold tight to the hand of God. When times are tough, He will carry you to the end.

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Footprints and Monuments is a free monthly leadership and motivational e-newsletter. No names receiving this e-newsletter is sold or distributed to any other source. You are encouraged to forward this monthly article to anyone in your address book. To un-subscribe please reply back with “Un-subscribe” in the subject field.

http://www.jeffearlywine.com/

About The Author

Jeff Earlywine began his ministry career while working on his undergraduate Business degree. His experiences have led him to work in many difference areas that have all benefited the local church.

CONSULTANT - Jeff has spent the last fifteen years consulting with hundreds of different organizations all across the nation. Serving as a consultant at The Injoy Group challenged him to be his best while he worked with the best. Jeff has assisted many ministries in Vision Casting, Strategic Planning, and Future Planning.

EXECUTIVE PASTOR - Jeff’s unofficial title was, “Pastor of Organization,” and by this title you might know this is his greatest skill. That skill gave him the passion to organize many different ministries in the local church. That skill also developed a volunteer staff capable of growing each of these ministries. He did this by equipping them to fulfill their God-given potential.

Jeff’s passion is to come along side the leader and help him to identify and develop his dream, organize the needs of that dream, and then to train and equip leaders to fulfill that dream.

jeff@atlantayfc.org

Rules To Live Life By

by: Khushi K

How often have we heard ourselves complaining about how unlucky we are in life or how things are just not working out right for us. However, what we so easily forget is that at some time before in lives, luck has favoured us.But it is human nature whereby we remember only what didn’t work for us but easily forget the things that happened in our favour. There are several things in life that we must cherish and be thankful to God for. One important thing that we must do is make a list of all the good things that have happened to us or all the blessings we have got and refer to that list whenever we feel upset or uncared for. Actually this is the same logic, which we use when we read old love letters because they remind us of happy times and cherished memories. Here is a list of ten quotations and how we can interpret these to lead a happier life.

1) Cry a river; build a bridge; get over it.

Let go of past failures, sadness and people whom we remember but who no longer care for us. This sounds so easy but its easier said than done. We all have gone through our share of heartaches and sadness. But when we constantly remember the pain and suffering we had endured, we are allowing that sadness to gain an upper hand over us. What we must realize is that what has happened, has happened. Its over and done with. People change and times change. Moving on in life is very but it’s the first constructive step to a better you.

2) Everything happens in its own time.

There are things that we do and expect to be rewarded for which does not happen. In offices there might be a promotion that we might have wanted, a high percentage of marks in a test or a job offer that we were sure that was to be given to us etc that never worked out. At such times we lose perspective and blame our luck and become despondent. We need to realize that there is a time for everything that happens in our lives. And when the appropriate time comes, things will start working the way they were supposed to work.

3) You are the only person who can make yourself happy.

Think of your happiness too and be kind to yourself. In life all of us have goals and ambitions. But in the pursuit of those goals we lose sight of the bigger picture that we are doing all that to make ourselves happy. This is seen especially in the case of mothers who are doing so many things for their kids and family that they don’t remember as to when was the last time they did something for their own happiness. It happens to all of us. Be more gentle on yourself. Make yourself happy and that can be done in so many ways. Treat yourself to some ice cream, buy a book that you were dying to read, spend a day lolling in the bed and doing nothing. We deserve it and so do our bodies.

4) Laughter is the best tranquilizer with no side effects.

Laugh each and every day of your life. Humorous situations happen to us every single day. Whether you choose to enjoy the moment or not is your decision. There are so many excuses in our day-to-day life to have a good laugh. All we need to do is just look at the lighter side of life and enjoy the moment. When you laugh don’t think whether people are watching you or how much you laugh. It’s their problem that they cannot find the humor in the situation that you have found.

5) Happiness is a journey not a destination.

As we make our journey through life we have so many things to savour and experience. There is no such thing as instant happiness or happiness that can be found somewhere. Live your life each day, as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point.

6) Do today what others wont so you can live tomorrow like others can’t.

So many times we are faced with duties and work that we are not happy doing or performing. In those times instead of hating or shirking from that work we can try and make use of thought that somehow whatever we doing will prove beneficial to us one day or the other. Maybe the results won’t be seen tomorrow but surely we will benefit because we did something that no one was willing to do. An example would be the people who started companies, which are million dollar establishments today. They dared to venture and put their money in something that their colleagues would not have been willing to do and today their work is paying off rich dividends.

7) It is never too late to be what you might have become.

There are several factors that cause us to land up doing the work we do. Many of us at some point of time or the other would have definitely wanted to make a career change and thought that its too late to do it. But the truth is its never too late. We can start doing whatever we want to do because its your life and your decisions. In the U.S, there are people who attend college in their late 60's and 70's because they always wanted to do it. Such people are the ones who believe in this adage.

8) Treasure the love you receive it will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished.

We always cherish our material possessions more. Life takes a lot from all of us. Today we might have good health, family love and a good home to go back to. What we forget is that there are some many calamities that can take away all our comforts but love is something that can never be taken away. We need to be more demonstrative of our love towards others and treat our loved ones with more kindness and affection.

9) The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

Any huge task that needs to be done seems very daunting at first. But if we analyze the task carefully and do it step by step we will find that things get resolved very quickly and easily. But we need to be bold enough to take the first small step. Once that is done we just need to proceed with small steps towards our goal.

10) Always have: something to do, something to love, something to hope for.

These three things are something that will keep the flame burning within all of us. Something to do will keep us busy, something to love will keep us motivated and something to hop for will take us faster towards our goal.

About The Author

I am Khushi and my interests include reading fiction, writing and music.

Get To Know Yourself

by: Kimberly Fulcher

Eight Baby Steps To Knowing Your “Self”

Who are you? What do you stand for? What do you believe in? What engages your passion? What brings tears of gratitude and joy to your eyes? Do you know, or have you lost yourself? In my work as a professional coach, I’ve helped many people rediscover themselves. The first step on the road to rediscovery involves spending time with you, which is why I liken the process to dating yourself.

When you began dating your last partner or the person you share your life with, didn’t you move heaven and earth to make time for them? When you were with them, didn’t you go out of your way to get to know them? What if you were to take a similar approach to rediscovering yourself? Here are some “baby steps” you can take to get reacquainted with yourself.

Journal

Writing your thoughts on paper can be profound. The process of journaling can support you in learning about what you’re afraid of, what you’re passionate about, and what you aspire to.

Buy yourself a beautiful notebook, and a pen you enjoy writing with. Find 20 quiet minutes in your day, and steal away to a comfortable place in your home. Begin your process by writing as if you were talking with yourself. Write about how you’re feeling, what’s bothering or exciting you, or the day ahead of you, or answer questions from books or personal development programs you’ve been reading.

Remember that your journal can be messy and illegible. It’s for your eyes only, and doesn’t need to be presentable. Enjoy the process of establishing a connection with you through the written word.

Meditate

Meditation is not about attaining a state of emptiness while sitting in the lotus position. It’s about observing yourself in the present moment. Find 10 quiet moments in your day, and sit comfortably. Your goal should be to “empty” yourself of any anxiety or worry. Focus on your breath, and allow the thoughts that enter your mind to be there. Acknowledge them, but don’t focus on understanding what they mean, or solving any problems. Just allow yourself to be still.

Move

There are numerous studies documenting the physical and emotional benefits of moving your body. Exercise can be a meditation in and of itself. If you’re the type of person who has a really hard time slowing down, this may be a great way for you to begin committing to time to be with yourself.

Walk

Walking is a moving mediation. It allows you to slow down, and notice what’s going on around you. If you usually move a million miles per hour, walking can allow you to focus on being fully present, while indulging in the movement you find so vital. It can provide you with an opportunity to mull over something that may be on your mind, or simply to notice the beauty and bounty of what surrounds you.

Drive

Though not a common “vehicle” to self discovery, driving can prove to be an interesting process, especially if it’s difficult to find a quiet place in your home. Fill your tape or cd changer with your favorite music, and hit the road to an unknown destination. See where your “self” leads you….

Authentic Outings

A day spent wandering boutiques, a stolen hour in a bookstore, a mid-afternoon matinee, a journaling session in a coffee shop, or an afternoon being pampered at your favorite spa. These are authentic outings, and indulging in activities like these is similar to dating yourself. This is where you take time to be with you, with no purpose in mind other than sheer enjoyment.

Old Hobbies

What did you love to do when you were a small child? Did you scrapbook? Did you take dance classes, or write short stories? The authenticity of childhood interests cannot be denied. Revisit the things you used to love to do as a kid. You will be amazed at the passion within you, just waiting to be rediscovered.

New Interests

Investigate and research things you find intriguing. Do you have a friend who spends her time in ways that you envy or admire? Did you used to dream about being great at something? Did you used to wish for your family to support you in the pursuit of a special talent or interest? Give yourself the permission and the support to explore it now. Who knows where this new path could lead?

The approach you take is not important. The fact that you make the time to reconnect with yourself is. Try a little of each approach, and see what works for you. Have fun, and continually explore!

Interested in reading more, or in finding out about our programs and services? Join our FREE newsletter community at www.compasslifedesigns.com.

Written By: Kimberly Fulcher
President, Compass Life Designs
Professional Coaching and Speaking Services
Kimberly_Fulcher@compasslifedesigns.com

This material is excerpted from “Your Life Is Your Business”, written by Kimberly Fulcher. Copyright 2003. All rights reserved.

Publication authorized solely for newsletter or website use. Not for resale. Edits not authorized.

About The Author

Kimberly Fulcher is a professional coach, author and speaker, with twelve years of experience in human development. Her professional experience includes the co-founding and $ 38 million dollar sale of SkillsVillage.com, and her leadership of a leading Silicon Valley consulting firm, where she grew revenues from $3M to $25M in four short years. Kimberly sits on the board of directors for The Silicon Valley Coach Federation, and actively supports non-profit organizations that benefit underprivileged women and primary education initiatives. Kimberly offers group and individual coaching programs, speaks throughout The United States, and will publish her first book “Self Care For SuperWomen” in early 2004.
Kimberly_Fulcher@compasslifedesigns.com